Monday, August 29, 2005

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Fantasy vs. Reality

There comes a time in every man’s life where he must submit to the fantasy side of life. No, I am not talking about your dvd collex that you stash under your bed and dream of being one of the linebackers who gets to take on Jenna Jameson, Heather Brooke, and Jasmine St. Clair dressed as pillowfighting cheerleaders. Nor am I talking about calling those 900 numbers late night after 14 shots of patron and waffle house to try and hear a local girl tell you all about her sopping wet— well, lets just cut off the fantasy right there. I am of course talking about none other than the Fantasy Sports leagues tearing up business payroll hours at work as employees fret over whether to pick Peyton Manning or LT with their first pick. Whether to take a proven pro bowl athlete or sign a new rookie full of hype. Whether a strong Defense is better than a strong Kicker. Who will get more points this year, Larry Fitzgerald or Javon Walker. Millions of scenarios play out in the fantasy sports owner mind…. and of course, these fantasy dreams of glory interfere with reality.

Lets say youre a Falcons fan. You love the ixcitement of watching the ixperience run around outside the pocket and gun it down field to the receiver that should have been there but missed his read. But lets say your team is 5-10 this year and has no hope for winning a playoff berth. The Falcons play the Panthers on the last season game… lets say you have Stephen Davis and Carolina D on your fantasy squad and you have a chance to win the fantasy crown this year if Carolina breaks off ATL. This is a division rival, not to mention ATL stomps Carolina when vick is healthy…. So what do you hope for as a sports fan? ATL beats Carolina to close out strong or Carolina dominates your team and you win fantasy player of the year amongst your boys? If you answer Carolina you are not separating fantasy from reality.

Now lets say youre a compulsive gambler. You know that sports betting is completely ridiculous considering a random play could make or break a spread. Dante Hall randomly returns a meaningless punt for a TD and now KC has an edge on +4 to the Eagles. But what if youre an eagles fan with dante hall on your fantasy squad (youre an idiot)… do you cheer for the mad points youll get this week or do you piss and cry because you layed 220/200 on the eagles covering. I guess that one is easier since its 200 frickin dollars!! But you get my point… fantasy play comes into reality too often during the football season.

The best way to remedy this situation is of course to stick to one or the other. Fantasy or Reality. If youre a fantasy owner, you cannot bet on sports that year. And if you don’t enter a league, you better be picking spreads even if its 11/10 and you do 16 pickems a week. Of course I will not be following my own advice like the millions of people out there and will continue to unwisely invest time and dollars into the sports gambling arena. My buddy joe jueng in korea has already started the smack talk and the draft order hasn’t even been randomized yet. Don’t you worry buddy, you can read about all of my SportsTalk throughout the College + NFL football season right here:

until then, my faithful readers, you will just have to peruse on this fantasy eye candy for the day:

my live draft is scheduled for tonight at 8:30 pm. my league stats will be linked through vicklantasy and of course weekly commentary on betting, fantasy, players, losers, coaches, media, and any other dramatic happenings in the professional and college sports arenas. this weekend is the first college pigskin game and of course the Louisville Cards will be beating their in-state rival at their own home... a fine start to an undefeated season.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

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After weeks of pressure by third party vendors, friends whose brains cannot retain one extra word in a standard URL, and a nominal cost of 20 bucks, i have carved out a little niche in the world wide web.

I can now be reached, more simply, at

Play the fucking contest below!

Picture Pages

This weekend was mostly fun. TimmyJimmy is now 24 and still plays video games and tokes weed. so irresponsible. anyway here are some pictures from the weekend with a little puzzle game at the end!

so here is my entourage. finally an actual picture of dwellis instead of the picture of kevin pollock as a substitute. jonny has his eyes closed. and of course the birthday boy is that dude in white who you dont know. but he got real fucked up. dwellis met up after with this j that he's hooking with- and decided to pull the trigger and cuddle with the rim latenight, instead of getting in bed and performing like a drunken baffoon.

they arent my 1st round picks, but theyll do for now. jon, dwell, tj

so we had two stops (three really), east andrews, the red door, and then back to andrews upstairs for some dancing. the first shot of the night was a ginormous shot of tequila for the 4 of us. got me warm and toasty right away. for the people who have never been to east andrews on a friday night, it is packed just like any other buckhead fuckhead bar.... which is why it is even more ridiculous to see bitches walking around carrying these:

despite the 'stunner' factor, martini glasses peeve me off

anywho, just as a point of reference, the reason i was able to take such a money photo was because katz's quick wit and sharp thinking anticipated that i wanted a shot of those bitches and he grabbed timmy and stood as if we were taking a real picture.... i cant decide which half of the original photo is funnier:

(**of course, katz made me take down the picture**)
katz shows us how florida residents roll to clubs: sleazily

ahh, he's gonna get pissed at me for posting that one. sucks. ok last but not least, remember when we were little kids and the Where's Waldo books were released? it was like a new sick fad in childrens education and entertainment. in honor of waldo, i have taken a picture of the wreckless state of my night stand after everything gets taken out of my pockets the night before. a sharp observer can probably identify 21 unique items... lets see if some of the readers are so bored this morning that they post a comment trying to get them all... be as specific as you can. good luck!

Friday, August 19, 2005

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Left Front Tire

When i think about the comical shit that happens in my everyday life, i dont know whether to puke in agony or sit back and laugh it off as if its another surreal experience in a long line of dumb shit. my tires were bald as shit. i knew it. i mean i drive like 45 around the 25 curves, stop and swerve when idiots turn left with no blinker, etc.hell i just drove over 1000 miles to kentucky and back on them knowing they were toast. so yesterday after a long boring day here, i wanted nothing more than to go home, pack a fattie, and watch the braves game. i get out to my car and of course the tire is totally flat hugging the pavement. time: 4:45 pm

i go into my trunk and although i have the tire iron, the lugnuts, and the spurr, i dont have a carjack. so i ask this security dude to borrow his... its a truck jack and after twisting it to as low as it could go, we realized it wasnt fitting under my car. so then i had to ask the shitty cops here for a regular jack with their sedans. so after 10 minutes of coptalk (the thing cops do where they sit in a car facing both ways just kissing and petting a little) this dude comes up and hands me his easy to use jack... and he stood over my white collar shoulders as i changed it all by myself! not bad for a little jewish kid.

anyway then before the cop got hungry i bolted the donut to the thing and i was outta there. time: 6:15 pm. so i drove 40 mph to firestone on north druid hills. why there i will never know... i just figured it was the closest to work. in retrospect there are mad tire places off scott blvd i should have gone to. firestone gives me an estimate and takes my car overnight. now, i have to find a ride home. i scroll through the holodex three times and can only come up with like 5 names. one is my roomie in vegas. one is dwellis, who was getting in at 5:15. one is timmyjimmy, whose birthday is tonight, and who was randomly in cali for business. nascar john was packing up all his shit. everyone else probably wouldnt have been able to do it.

so what does my warped mind do? saddle up my britches and start hoofing it. so in case everyone doesnt know reference points, i will get a map. firestone on north druid hills to poncey highlands area.

i decided the best route would be to cut through the neighborhoods off lavista, so this map isnt 100% accurate, but just to get from firestone to the intersection of virginia and highland ave. was 4.3 miles. in work clothes. if no one picked me up it would have been door to door 5 miles exactly. anyway my buddy dwellis whose flight was delayed finally met up with me after waiting in baggage, getting his car, and then driving to freedom pkwy exit and meeting me around east rock springs. time: 7:45.


needless to say you know the story has a happy ending. hot shower, huge overflowing bowl, pass out at 2 am, alarm set for 10am. tonight i will be getting blackout drunk, i already know it. its timmyjimmys bday. Falcons are on tonight preseason 7:30. mike vick gonna rock the dome for 8 plays, 2 drives, or 1 quarter, whichever comes first. braves also have a home game tonight. should be a great weekend and i wont even use my brand new performance tires. in honor of TJ's bday (that rhymes), here is a nice cartoon:

Thursday, August 18, 2005

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Left Green Arrows...

I guess I have more to add to the green arrow discussion below. FatAsianJewishBaby commented on the concept of '2 car lights', basically when a green arrow in atlanta allows 2 and only 2 cars to proceed safely through the intersection. this does not mean that there arent 2-3 drivers behind the safe 2 that decide their balls are strapped in and they can gun it for dear life.

i have kinda had a longstanding conspiracy theory regarding this phenomenon. here it is.... have you ever noticed that when an intersection is extremely busy, the left arrow is absurdly short for the line of cars. and other times, late at night, the green arrow is completely unnecessary and you dig your fingernails through the steering wheel in frustration? also, how about if you usually always land on a short green left arrow and the one time you are going straight, the left arrow is abnormally long? same intersection, same traffic, totally irregular left arrow light.

before wikipediaing this concept, i thought that some intersections probably just had timers and other busy ones had all sorts of sensors. also based on my SimTower ixxperience, elevators in buildings have rush hour express service as well as normal day-to-day service... i figured street lights would also be adjusted based on rush hour traffic times. i, of course, was 100% correct.

"It is also commonplace to alter the control strategy of a traffic light based on the time of day and day of the week, or on other special circumstances (such as a major event causing extra traffic through an intersection)."
-from wikipedia

ok so here is where the conspiracy theory in me comes in. i think that the reason lights randomly have long and slow cycles at completely innappropriate times is because the nerdy programmers who were writing the code for the timing devices didnt maintain the AM/PM bit in their calculations. as a result, i think that when lights reset, like if the power goes off, they reset to the wrong time of day and have really fast green arrows at 9 AM and really slow arrows at 9 PM. if the programmers had built some kind of device to synch up the circuit time with the actual time, none of these random superfast green arrows would ever happen. it all comes down to these trekkies cutting cpu costs by leaving out one bit, ala the Y2K scare... only this time, the timers on the lights are affected every storm that this wonderful city has to offer.

since most blog traffic is full of dorky people, i'm sure someone else has a different or better theory regarding this concept?

for the record, i also think that sometimes the reason has nothing to do with the timers or the sensors fucking up. sometimes its people who dont have fulton or dekalb on their licenses going 5 mph through a green left arrow because they are just the worst fucking drivers in general and this slow paced not thinking about anyone behind you just the people in front of you mentality is fucking up the rest of the normal drivers' universes. i mean come on, weve all been waiting at the light forever.... including the guy 6 cars back. ATLIENS.... GUN IT THROUGH THE INTERSECTION! STOP DRIVING 80 ON THE HIGHWAY AND 20 ON THE SIDE STREETS.

whew, i worked up half a pack of rolaids with that rant. comments and complaints are always accepted.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

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Flickr... I Barely KNOW Her!

Two blogs today (so far). In honor of my new digi-elf:

i saw this funny sign that some dude decided to nail to an electrical pole at the corner of Ponce and Briarcliff Road. (here is a map for the slow people)

and while we're at it, may as well post some more gooduns.

the roomie waves to his fans when asked which finger he bangs little boys with

my dad, despiting having no cannons, certainly does have some power under the hood

now he is in complete baller mode. one day i aspire to be this much of a baller... or at least get the z4 if he were to pass. cell phone not included.

Electronics Upgrade

Sooooorrry i havent written anything in a week. But on the 6-hour solo ride to kentuck this weekend i managed to jot down a ton of things in my blackberry to write about... mostly dank inspired items. being the dumbass i am, i never sent the email to myself so it is stuck there until i go home for some scrunch and munch.

in the meantime, shoobie has recently experienced a mass electronics upgrade. besides the crackberry which was given to me under the guise of a 'wireless work leash', i recently purchased a canon elf digi-cam to replace my clunky 2 pound digi-cam from 2002. this new cam will help me capture memories better than ever before, seeing as how i could never carry the old one around with me. the little mini elf fits sweetly into any pocket and has 4 mp and plenty of memory to get photo and video w/audio recordings of all the random funny shit i see daily. i might start a new photog, and if so, i will link it up here. i cant decide whether to remain with blogger or sell out and join a flickr thing.

for my birthday from me ma, i received a new 20G ipod. i always say i sell out my moral takes on things in a heartbeat, i just dont think anyone believes me. remember when i wrote about throwing away cd's and selling out to ipod here and here? well i now understand why emily doesnt need cd's ever again... it just took me figuring out what itunes can do to realize that my cd's will have a permanent spot in my house for the stereo in my room... definitely not throwing out the brand new collex though. now i have to shop for ipod accessories and of course figure out if there is an easy way to subscribe to some funny podcasts without too much effort. input from the peanut gallery would be much appreciated, as i am an ipod amateur noobie who wants to fit in with everyone else.

i guess its not really an electronics upgrade, but while i was home i received a Louisville Cardinals jersey for my star running back who will definitely be drafted next year, lucky #19 Michael Bush. no not reggie bush, this is a whole different bush. a better bush. certainly not busch league. (now i have an outfit for saturday AND sunday, sporting the cardinal red saturday and the falcons d. hall red and black sunday + 2 MNF)

now if i could somehow get an Adam LaRoche #19 jersey i will never have to shop at the gap again.

that is all for now, more to come soon.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

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Guest Blog Vol. 1: The [Absurd] War on Drugs

(2 blogs today)
This blog was written by a buddy. His penname is Herbal Remedy. Here is his sarcastic rant.

We have recently become victim to the cacophony of media noise surrounding the war on drugs, particularly America’s problem with meth. I have some opinions on this topic. We’ve all had this discussion with regard to marijuana – how it’s less of a liability to society than alcohol. This statement is undeniably true in many respects. The worst thing that came out of America’s marijuana problem is obesity and jam bands. (and the snack food companies love it) Fatties love puffing fatties. But back to the topic of meth – is it really the devil it’s made out to be? …and I will be playing devil’s advocate in my following thoughts.

Politicians will argue that drugs are bad not because they are unhealthy for the body, but because they take away peoples’ judgment, morals, and duties. But these officials who are leading the fight against drugs are essentially forgetting about their duties. So meth is the new crack, which was once the new heroine. (that title now given to pain killers) Apparently this new “crack” is seductively turning fine upstanding Americans into worthless human beings, an airborne virus striking fear into the uninformed.

I’m not arguing that meth isn’t bad – it is indeed a problem for many people in many locales. However, meth use among high school students has remained relatively stable and is starting to decline. As far as meth’s addiction potential, only 5% of
people who try meth become addicted. (Definition of addiction is use 1 time per month – which is an absurd qualification in itself) That addiction rate is higher than heroine (3%), but it’s lower than marijuana (15%), crack (8%), painkillers (10%), or cigarettes (37%). Now let’s talk about alcohol. Among those who have tried alcohol, 60% have had a drink in the last month and 27% have binge drank in the last month. (5 drinks on one occasion defines binge drinking which in relative terms makes me a dysfunctional alcoholic!)

Methamphetamines are nothing new. They were easily available in pill form and sold over the counter until the 50’s. At that point there were still prescribed by doctors for those who wanted to lose weight or stay awake. It was in the 1970’s that home labs started to spring up when authorities cracked down. This very same pattern occurred during Prohibition. Underground distilleries would emerge and people were dying from alcohol poisoning. Prohibition basically caused many people to switch from beer and wine to extremely hard liquor. Yeah, that’s an embarrassing page in America’s history book.

These days, we not only tolerate but embrace alcohol despite the fact that it causes more harm than illegal drugs. Also, because we realize a ban on alcohol is futile –
it would create more problems and societal uprising, taking away what we value so much – booze.

In many ways shutting down meth labs across the country just creates more collateral damage and doesn’t solve the problem because most of it is imported. We are reportedly prosecuting poor convenience store clerks for unknowingly selling cold medication (ingredient in meth) and other legal ingredient products to junkies who are concocting meth in their homes.

Is meth so bad anyway? [said sarcastically] The military is given them for god’s sake. My own stepfather used to be a surgeon in the military many years ago and made “hangover” kits for his fellow soldiers that consisted of methamphetamine pills, coffee, and Tylenol. He said his kits were very popular. Truck drivers are known to take them to stay awake on long trips. I’d sure as hell rather be driving next to a truck driver on meth than a truck driver asleep.

Madden 2006 Brown Bag Lunch

Welcome back readers to another fine installment of things swirling around in my brain. today marks one of the most exciting days in sports. we celebrate today annually and thoroughly, by mastering our hot route technique, linebacker shift, d-line audible to pass block, motion the tight end, hut hut hike!

Brown Bag Lunch is this term they use here at work. here is the translation: "dont go to chilis, instead bring your lunch and sit in on another enjoyable installment of exciting infectious diseases spreading all over the world!"

instead, my Madden 2006 Brown Bag Lunch consisted of me picking up food, going to jewish haven (read: post briarcliff), taking 2 supplements of vitamin M, and tutorializing myself with the new features of Madden 2006. Gamers, grab a seat. Ladies, grab onto your nipples. random blogosphere traffic... thanks for reading this far. lets discuss the 30 minute preview i got of this game before going back to the cube life and endlessly meeting in conference room A to go over powerpoint presentations. (on a side note, my buddy bought 2 copies so i could go directly home and plug in... no best buy black hole today)

First off, let me start by telling you what happened in Game 1 ever. Dwellis vs. Shoobie.
Falcons vs. Panthers (dwellis is a Pack fan all the way, but chose to stay divisional to make it naughty) Falcons are underrated as usual, boasting a 92 offense and 82 defense 86 overall. philly eagles and new england pats are the stacked powerhouses of the NFC/AFC, with Indy trailing in a close 3rd. Pittsburgh also remains naughty.

Dwellis kicked off to me. after running warrick for an 8 yard gain, it was all downhill. INT #1 came on the first drive. Carolina drove all over my ass. dwellis did not call one run play but managed to span the entire length of the field. however, his red zone offense collapsed and he was forced to kick a field goal. holler. Rossum on the return gets to the 30. shoobie throws 2 consecutive passes to (surprise!) peerless price who can actually catch a ball in the video game. down to the ATL 40 i throw INT #2. carolina throws INT #3 right after that, to none other than my cover corner Deangelo Hall #21. after that it was all over. vick to crumpler. 1st down. vick to dez white. first down. vick to peerless. first down. vick to crumpler. touchdown.

and then, my lunch break was up. i duffed the xtra point making it a 6-3 victory in 1 quarter of play. just playing the game made me excited enough to not only write this blog but to also nut over the fact that NFL football is so close to being back you can smell it.

the game has crazy new features and a completely different button layout than 2005.
- QB Viewing. your accuracy goes up if you are actually looking at a receiver before you throw it. you can also pass leading left, leading right, underneath, or high by using the right stick. that means if you burn a corner with peerless you can lob it to his far side so he catches and continues running.
- Train Hit. Lets say your name is jerome bus. lets say you get a pitch and youve got 3 blockers in front of you. 2 guys are stuffed but one is still coming from your right side. now the bus can lay a shoulder into any defensive back and lay him out and continue on up the field. hit stick on OFFENSE. clutch!
- switch main receiver. with the new qb viewing, you can also select which receiver you want on the main route (in orange) vs. the other routes (in white).
- Defensive confusion on cover. You can now play man to man, or disguised man to man. If you want the defense to stay with their assignments, you call man. but you can also call zone and play man, meaning the defense will pick up their man and keep in the zone without the other guy knowing.

things to remember:
- turbo is always A now. offense and defense.
- hit stick on defense is tougher, since the back can now plow over you on their way to the endzone. this also allows for bigger collisions.
- the running and throwing is more realistic. it seems that with each year, there is more accuracy than the one before. passing is something you have to master now.
- when youre setting up hot routes, new looks, and new receivers, if you change too much, you will definitely delay the game. try to figure out the new buttons asap.
- memorize the playbook. this is so tough, each year a new set of plays that you have to learn and practice all over again.

anyone who reads this and wants to challenge me on xbox live already knows my name. its on the right side up thea and it says check out my Halo 2 stats for the public. ----->

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

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Kamikaze Shooters + the Blues

Today will be a twofer blog, in that you will receive 2 for 1 knowledge on cool shit.

First off, have any of the atl residents noticed a certain smell in the air? it has been drifting down upon the city from about 50 miles up north. hopefully it will linger well into february. 'whats the smell?' you ask.... it is the sweat, blood, and tears of 100 big motherfuckers working their asses off up at Flowery Branch preparing for a Super Bowl season. Thats right, ladies and gentlemen, we will FINALLY be watching the star-studded Atlanta Falcons live and in action very soon. how soon? well if you think that preseason games count for anything whatsoever, then this coming weekend is definitely going to be exciting. Your Atlanta Falcons have been chosen to play against the Indy Colts in a pre-pre-season game in Tokyo, Japan.

in case you cant read that japanese, it says: The World Bowl at the Tokyo Dome! Starts at 6:00 pm. come watch the most exciting two quarterbacks in the league duke it out for one quarter of play. then watch 2nd string white people provide a show for the rest of the time.

heres the catch: you have to pull an all-nighter on friday night this weekend to catch the game broadcast live at 5:00 am EST on saturday morning. i guess ill be skipping cartoons and cocoa puffs this weekend.

Things to look forward to this NFL season:
- Dunn, Duckett, and Vick combined for one of the deadliest rushing attacks in the game last year
- Roddy White is a fast little fucker who will likely win a position over Dez White. He will provide enough speed on the field to hopefully take some cover off peerless.
- Vick knows he can't run forever; he has been concentrating on the passing game this training camp.
- Deangelo Hall #21 will be vying for a pro bowl season in his 2nd (really 1 1/2) years in the league. last year as a rookie he missed the first 7 games...this year no one can hold him down.
- our rookie drafted receiver Jenkins has a year under his belt with vick... this means more comfortability in running routes and getting to where vick wants him to be.
- We have 3 MNF games and 3 Sunday night games, national audience will get to see us shine.
- our home schedule is awesome: eagles, vikings, patriots, jets, green bay, + 3 division games.
- our defense improved tenfold last year, and we can only keep moving up... we signed some veteran players this offseason and they are reportedly performing sick-aly.
- alge crumpler is a top-rated tight end and caught more balls than any receiver last year.

in other football news, Madden '06 is being released on August 10th, same day that comcast comes to hook up our skrinternet. xbox live challenge is inevitable.
Second, tonight i will actually be coughing up money to pay for a cover in the virginia highlands. i am usually diametrically opposed to paying cover in an area of town that should not be charging, but i have also never been to 10 high even though i have passed it 1000 times and thought about entering at least 10 times. to his credit, jonnatronic found this blues band first. he then roped me in to what is an amazing show. Sean Costello will be performing tonight at 10 High on highland avenue. its a wednesday so i know no one has shit to do. if you feel like boozing and dancing and watching some black dudes lay out the phat notes on the saxophone while sean sings the blues, i promise you wont be dissapointed. it will be either 5 or 7 bucks, judging from past acts on their website.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

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Ben Harper is the Dank

Had to write 2 bloggies today.

Last night, 8/1/2005, I went to see Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals at the Tabernacle. The show was one of the sickest concerts i have ever been to. for those of you who dont know bennie boy, he is a half black half white dude who plays electric guitar, slide guitar, bass, and of course lead vocals. his musical range is expansive, fusing blues and rock together, with a touch of soul/gospel, to create some of the sickest songs. his voice can go high and low. his songs can be fast and pump-up or slow and panty-droppers. the innocent criminals play with him a lot, and the bongos, drums, piano, bass, guitar, and whatever other crazy instruments they have all work very well on every fucking song. the opener even came out and played cello for one song.

the crowd in a-town was amazing. after the first song there was literally a 5-minute standing ovation for ben. you could tell he was mesmerized at how fucking loud we gets down. so i guess he decided to rock the fucking house (2nd to last stop on this tour) and did two complete sets, almost 30 songs in one night for $40. he covered new, old, slow, upbeat. the only song that i love that he didnt play was 'ground on down'... i think that would have been a good closer after the 'Aint Too Proud To Beg' cover. instead he closed with his own song joined with a bob marley cover inside that song. 'a big soul burrito,' is what one guy called it.

besides the fact that the crowd was amazing, the joints were amazing, the security was running no interference, and that it ended at 12:30 am..... the best part was during one song, ben decided he wanted to give love to the 2nd floor balcony. he climbed up the speakers and then pulled himself over the balcony and stood with one foot in and one outside the rail. then he did a complete lap around the entire balcony railing of the tabernacle giving hi-5's and whattups to all the fans on the 2nd floor. then he spidey'd his way back down to the stage to finish up. the performance was awesome and i am glad i toughed it out on a monday night.

For those of you who do know Ben Harper, check out this all-star lineup:
set [1]:
• 11th Commandment
• Well Well Well
• Take My Hand
• Brown Eyed Blues
• Everything
• Temporary Remedy
• Jah Work
• How Many Miles Must We March?
• In The Lord's Arms
• Amen Omen
• Diamonds On The Inside
• Burn One Down
• Get It Like You Like It
• Steal My Kisses/Pressure Drop
enc [1]:
• Waiting On An Angel
• Widow Of A Living Man
• I Shall Not Walk Alone
• Walk Away
• There Will Be A Light
• Beloved One <--any girl who wants this as her first dance song at the wedding is cool with me
enc [2]:
• Glory & Consequence
• Forgiven
• Please Me Like You Want To
• Where Could I Go
• She's Only Happy In The Sun <--shoobie fave
• The Woman In You
• Ain't Too Proud To Beg
• With My Own Two Hands/War

Thank you Ben Harper! and thank you Dwellis, lord of the trichomes.
Read More Reviews here.

**new: added 8/3 due to jonatronics verizon photo capturing**

ben harper walks all the way around the 2nd floor balcony

Moving Day: Part II

Thats right folks, i have relocated the pillow top to a new locale in atlanta. it will now be having its presence felt in the poncey highlands area. jonatronic bought a new townhome and enslaved me as his little renter lackee while he catches zzz's in the 'master' and showers for 25 minutes too long in the morning. running water can be heard in my room fucker.

the new locale offers many new plusses and minuses to life. here is a rundown of those things.
- NeighBORES is now one block away instead of five
- Manuels Tavern is one block away
- Righteous Room is one block away
- I finally retain rights to my own bathroom. thank jesus.
- Publix and my ix are 100 feet from each other
- L5P is walkable under the right circumstances (variety, vortex, UFO)
- balconies allow for discreet smoking areas
- driveway that has at least 5 feet of extra buffer space between cars and walls
- kegger is imminent

- Moes and Joes/Fontaines is now too fucking far
- I cant use my little skance routes to work in the morning. I have to take at least briarcliff or north decatur roads no matter how much i loathe them.
- QT is way outside the loop of general travel
- Any landlord i have ever had was, and still is, a complete douche.

we decided to hire the same moving company this year, since last year was a piece of cake and the three dudes were blogworthy. if you want the name of the company, maybe jonny will post it here when he finally gets internet back. here is the old link to last years moving day. the re-read was just as good as the day those guys came.

one of the three guys was the same person as last year. he still had on the same GA Tech hat and the same cracky voice. we also got 2 new black dudes (total of 3), and i swear every mover looks like a famous person. one looked like DMX and the other looked like _____ ( i will fill in later). DMX was fucking out of control, demanding some candy or something sweet, anything. all i had was mint chocolate chip meringue cookies; he wasnt a big fan. DMX also sang all kinda of songs around the house, none of which were interpreted or recognized by me or white jon. he asked me if i burned dvds; yes; do you have hustle and flow? haha, nice dude. he asked if i listen to fitty cent, i told him he was aiight.. i am bumpin the game now. he said that shit is tight. the three guys all called each other fucking funny names: shoady, player, lil man, slim, grampa, just whatever the fuck came out of their mouth was hilarious because either A) i couldnt understand a lick of it, or B) i am white and its easier to just chuckle along than not react at all.

then of course came the inevitable question. my #2 question to all new people i meet. the way to find out if you are on a similar mental state as the other people in the group. after reading last year's guy ask, "Do you guys party?" it was nice that DMX was more subtle. he did it more like the guys in jamaica: Ask mundane question that you dont care about the answer to. Pop in question #2 closely following the answer from 1.
(Example: )
mundane- Hey man, where you from in the US?
answer1- kentucky buddy
question2- thats cool. wanna buy some smoke?

this mover goes: you two brothers or somethin? nope, just college buddies. thats cool, do you [makes international joint smoking sign with fingers to lips]? ya its at the new place.

last little anecdote. since i am in fact a dumbass, i pulled one of the fucking dumbest moves of my life during this move. so i was gathering up my shit at the old place and had a bunch of trash bags strewn about the room. as it was getting more organized, it got divided into actual trash and bags of clothes to donate. there was also a bag of my nice shirts that needed to be dry cleaned. you can see where this is going... went down to the goodwill in the kroger lot off ponce and of course no one was there on a sunday at 5 pm. so i just left the 4 trash bags at the steps and peaced out. about 20 minutes later i was taking the last stuff out of my car when i realized my fatal mistake... i gunned it back to the goodwill to find all 4 trashbags rummaged through and exploited for all their worth. in one of the bags: 8 button down nice ass shirts. and a tie.

am i allowed to pull a larry david and interrogate the next bum i see walking around ponce with an emory frat boy t-shirt? "sir, i-- i noticed you are wearing what appears to be a chi phi shirt. i'm pretty sure you got it at the goodwill on ponce. i happened to have left a few button down shirts there by mistake and was wondering if i could perhaps get those back. i need them for a september bar mitzvah and i dont want to let my mom down."

i'm sure he would happily relinquish the shirts to their rightful owner. am i allowed to be pissed that i donated to charity? under normal circumstances i would say 'well they need it more than i do'. in this case, however, i say fuck that shit... since when does a homeless dude need to look good for anyone?

so in summary: new place is cool and more centrally located, i am a blinking idiot, and fuck the homeless people. thank you and have a wonderful boozeday