Left Front Tire

When i think about the comical shit that happens in my everyday life, i dont know whether to puke in agony or sit back and laugh it off as if its another surreal experience in a long line of dumb shit. my tires were bald as shit. i knew it. i mean i drive like 45 around the 25 curves, stop and swerve when idiots turn left with no blinker, etc.hell i just drove over 1000 miles to kentucky and back on them knowing they were toast. so yesterday after a long boring day here, i wanted nothing more than to go home, pack a fattie, and watch the braves game. i get out to my car and of course the tire is totally flat hugging the pavement. time: 4:45 pm

i go into my trunk and although i have the tire iron, the lugnuts, and the spurr, i dont have a carjack. so i ask this security dude to borrow his... its a truck jack and after twisting it to as low as it could go, we realized it wasnt fitting under my car. so then i had to ask the shitty cops here for a regular jack with their sedans. so after 10 minutes of coptalk (the thing cops do where they sit in a car facing both ways just kissing and petting a little) this dude comes up and hands me his easy to use jack... and he stood over my white collar shoulders as i changed it all by myself! not bad for a little jewish kid.

anyway then before the cop got hungry i bolted the donut to the thing and i was outta there. time: 6:15 pm. so i drove 40 mph to firestone on north druid hills. why there i will never know... i just figured it was the closest to work. in retrospect there are mad tire places off scott blvd i should have gone to. firestone gives me an estimate and takes my car overnight. now, i have to find a ride home. i scroll through the holodex three times and can only come up with like 5 names. one is my roomie in vegas. one is dwellis, who was getting in at 5:15. one is timmyjimmy, whose birthday is tonight, and who was randomly in cali for business. nascar john was packing up all his shit. everyone else probably wouldnt have been able to do it.

so what does my warped mind do? saddle up my britches and start hoofing it. so in case everyone doesnt know reference points, i will get a map. firestone on north druid hills to poncey highlands area.


i decided the best route would be to cut through the neighborhoods off lavista, so this map isnt 100% accurate, but just to get from firestone to the intersection of virginia and highland ave. was 4.3 miles. in work clothes. if no one picked me up it would have been door to door 5 miles exactly. anyway my buddy dwellis whose flight was delayed finally met up with me after waiting in baggage, getting his car, and then driving to freedom pkwy exit and meeting me around east rock springs. time: 7:45.

3 HOURS OF MY LIFE WAS WASTED BECAUSE OF ONE FLAT TIRE.

needless to say you know the story has a happy ending. hot shower, huge overflowing bowl, pass out at 2 am, alarm set for 10am. tonight i will be getting blackout drunk, i already know it. its timmyjimmys bday. Falcons are on tonight preseason 7:30. mike vick gonna rock the dome for 8 plays, 2 drives, or 1 quarter, whichever comes first. braves also have a home game tonight. should be a great weekend and i wont even use my brand new performance tires. in honor of TJ's bday (that rhymes), here is a nice cartoon: