The Shoobed out version: Best of Atlanta

After reading all these ridiculous lists of the best in atlanta, i couldnt stand most of the choices. Plus its monday, and i dont have shit to talk about because my head is clogged with bong resin and madden 2005. so without further ado, here is my version of the best shit in atlanta. feel free to add on any additional funny ones.

best wings - i know that dugan's is in the mix, but considering i am a 24 year old white guy who doesnt ride a motorcycle... moes and joes hands down has the best (and cheap) wings in atl. hot is hot. extra crispy is the shizzl.
best free poker - famous sports palace, toco hills shopping center. $3 jack and cokes. and the finest WT youll ever see.
best jewish bar - neighbor's thursday nights. its like the 2nd coming of the exodus
best jewish apartment complex - if you are a jew and you talk to other jews about moving to atlanta, hands down the first recommendation is to live at 'Post'. Even though there are probably 20 posts, everyone knows which post i am talking about. Post-Emory-Still-Hanging-Around-Trying-To-Work-And-Play-With-Jews apartments.
best swimming pool - The Metropolis, midtown. the pool is enormo, and very hot baywatch-esque profiles walkin around. it sits on the 7th floor so there is maximum sun. just watch your cornhole, bud.
best fireworks - stoned mountain. fireworks every weekend, huge fest on july 4th.
best concert venue - this is tough, since there are so many... but variety playhouse, L5P has a good setup, mostly good bands, and a nice outside smoke lounge.
best movie theater - there are some pretty good places in town for movies, ranging from upscale to drive-in. but the best one has to be bling-bling mall movie theater (North Dekalb mall). big cushy seats, no line at credit card ticket station. as long as youre not seeing an urban comedy, the theater will never sell out.
best waho - clearly this is debateable, but i think the best waho is the one by club opus one. there is always action... and by action i mean freak show while you eat.
best strip club - pink pony. cheetah is just too expensive for the same blonde landing strip.
best on tap - Taco Mac has the most variety of beers at a bar i have ever seen.
best sports team - dare i say the Braves are our best sports team? i guess it doesnt matter since the Ted owns one half and Arthur Blank owns the other. i would love to see these guys on celebrity deathmatch.
best local celebrity - Evander Holyfield (well Elton John, but i cant say that out loud)
best local rap group - Outkast
best bar where you dont have to see who youre talking to - Dark Horse Tavern (has also taken the title in 2003 for best meat market)
best meat market - East Andrews
best place to see khaki shorts w/polos and 'stunna' UGA blondes - tie between Loco's and moondogs
best after date but dont want to end the date dessert stop - Cafe Intermezzo, midtown
best underrated chill spot - The Righteous Room, off ponce... very deep and tasty jack and cokes.
best lanes - bling bling lanes, cheshire. just be careful of gay night on mondays... like dont plan a 'beater bowling night on the same day.
best white russian - famous sports palace. tall, and make it a double!
best margarita - before it shut down, Gecko in highlands was the best. now its gotta be los loros, mexican style.
best free beer - Sweetwater 420 tour. yummy.
best place to grab a double ended dildo - starship, cheshire. or inserection, also cheshire.
best comedy club - dad's garage is lame...those guys get more n.f. the more i see them. i have to go with The Punchline
best pool table - Twains, decatur. the tables are regulation size. the cues arent all fucked up. and you can smoke or non-smoke. and they have a sick game of skeeball.
best bathroom to get your pant cuffs soaked with urinal discharge - tossup between moes and joes and neighbors
best place to catch some fifa gooooooooooool - Brewhouse Cafe, L5P
best bar to spend a fuckton of money for no reason while never talking to any girls/guys - Balls in Hand (aka Hand in Hand)
best sushi for under $10 - RuSans has a great lunch special... all you can eat.
best place for a sweaty cuban to hit on you - Havana Club, buckhead.. also have dank cigars
best head shop - 42 degrees (get it?), L5P. cheaper prices, quality gear, major headdies running the store.
best everyday pizza - Mellow Mush, preferably emory location
best late night pizza - Ray's, Buckhead
best ice cream - Jake's, right by deeph central.
best dartboard - Atkins Park, highlands.
best sandwich - Eatzi's. I think this place might have the best sandwich on earth....
best place to MILF hunt - Highland Tap
best oysters on the half shell - Fontaines, highlands.
best burger in the highlands - Highland Tap
best burger in L5P - Vortex
best saki bombing locale - Nickiemotos, midtown
best bookstore to see familiar faces - Borders books, off ponce.
best place to get into a fight with crazy brazilian men - Loca Luna, midtown.
best place to dance your ass off on a weekday - Tuesdays at Star Bar, L5P