Tuesday, August 02, 2005

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Moving Day: Part II

Thats right folks, i have relocated the pillow top to a new locale in atlanta. it will now be having its presence felt in the poncey highlands area. jonatronic bought a new townhome and enslaved me as his little renter lackee while he catches zzz's in the 'master' and showers for 25 minutes too long in the morning. running water can be heard in my room fucker.

the new locale offers many new plusses and minuses to life. here is a rundown of those things.
- NeighBORES is now one block away instead of five
- Manuels Tavern is one block away
- Righteous Room is one block away
- I finally retain rights to my own bathroom. thank jesus.
- Publix and my ix are 100 feet from each other
- L5P is walkable under the right circumstances (variety, vortex, UFO)
- balconies allow for discreet smoking areas
- driveway that has at least 5 feet of extra buffer space between cars and walls
- kegger is imminent

- Moes and Joes/Fontaines is now too fucking far
- I cant use my little skance routes to work in the morning. I have to take at least briarcliff or north decatur roads no matter how much i loathe them.
- QT is way outside the loop of general travel
- Any landlord i have ever had was, and still is, a complete douche.

we decided to hire the same moving company this year, since last year was a piece of cake and the three dudes were blogworthy. if you want the name of the company, maybe jonny will post it here when he finally gets internet back. here is the old link to last years moving day. the re-read was just as good as the day those guys came.

one of the three guys was the same person as last year. he still had on the same GA Tech hat and the same cracky voice. we also got 2 new black dudes (total of 3), and i swear every mover looks like a famous person. one looked like DMX and the other looked like _____ ( i will fill in later). DMX was fucking out of control, demanding some candy or something sweet, anything. all i had was mint chocolate chip meringue cookies; he wasnt a big fan. DMX also sang all kinda of songs around the house, none of which were interpreted or recognized by me or white jon. he asked me if i burned dvds; yes; do you have hustle and flow? haha, nice dude. he asked if i listen to fitty cent, i told him he was aiight.. i am bumpin the game now. he said that shit is tight. the three guys all called each other fucking funny names: shoady, player, lil man, slim, grampa, just whatever the fuck came out of their mouth was hilarious because either A) i couldnt understand a lick of it, or B) i am white and its easier to just chuckle along than not react at all.

then of course came the inevitable question. my #2 question to all new people i meet. the way to find out if you are on a similar mental state as the other people in the group. after reading last year's guy ask, "Do you guys party?" it was nice that DMX was more subtle. he did it more like the guys in jamaica: Ask mundane question that you dont care about the answer to. Pop in question #2 closely following the answer from 1.
(Example: )
mundane- Hey man, where you from in the US?
answer1- kentucky buddy
question2- thats cool. wanna buy some smoke?

this mover goes: you two brothers or somethin? nope, just college buddies. thats cool, do you [makes international joint smoking sign with fingers to lips]? ya its at the new place.

last little anecdote. since i am in fact a dumbass, i pulled one of the fucking dumbest moves of my life during this move. so i was gathering up my shit at the old place and had a bunch of trash bags strewn about the room. as it was getting more organized, it got divided into actual trash and bags of clothes to donate. there was also a bag of my nice shirts that needed to be dry cleaned. you can see where this is going... went down to the goodwill in the kroger lot off ponce and of course no one was there on a sunday at 5 pm. so i just left the 4 trash bags at the steps and peaced out. about 20 minutes later i was taking the last stuff out of my car when i realized my fatal mistake... i gunned it back to the goodwill to find all 4 trashbags rummaged through and exploited for all their worth. in one of the bags: 8 button down nice ass shirts. and a tie.

am i allowed to pull a larry david and interrogate the next bum i see walking around ponce with an emory frat boy t-shirt? "sir, i-- i noticed you are wearing what appears to be a chi phi shirt. i'm pretty sure you got it at the goodwill on ponce. i happened to have left a few button down shirts there by mistake and was wondering if i could perhaps get those back. i need them for a september bar mitzvah and i dont want to let my mom down."

i'm sure he would happily relinquish the shirts to their rightful owner. am i allowed to be pissed that i donated to charity? under normal circumstances i would say 'well they need it more than i do'. in this case, however, i say fuck that shit... since when does a homeless dude need to look good for anyone?

so in summary: new place is cool and more centrally located, i am a blinking idiot, and fuck the homeless people. thank you and have a wonderful boozeday


At 8/04/2005 11:26 AM, Blogger Maigh said...

I'm amused by the "thank Jesus" since you're Jewish, but I guess that was the point.

See you tonight, fruity.


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