Tuesday, July 20, 2004

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Ten Burning Questions with Stewie Griffin

If you dont know 10 burning questions, go here.
If you dont know Stewie Griffin, shoot yourself. or click this linky.
Stewie Griffin, some might say he's just an infant... a little stinky baby who poops his diaper and cries for mommy and candy. He has a crib, he has a teddy named rupert, he avoids potty training like its the plague, and he sneaks off in the airport with no disdain for his safety. Others, though, claim that he is brilliant. a man amongst little crying babies. one who can chew the fat with the good ol' boys in the country club, can develop high-tech conspiratory methods for destroying the earth and/or his mother in the blink of an eye, he even speaks to the family pooch. Vicklanta's own fake reporter had him on the hot seat.
(to be read with stewies voice in mind)
1.Whats your favorite brand of diaper?
    Well, first off i would like to say thanks sooo much for having me. it was greeeat meeting brenda in make up. she and i got along stunningly. i would have to say huggies with the aloe vera... nothing like a good minty freshness on your bum. hahaha. ha. ha... oooh, what a zinger to open it up with.
2.If you had to have a sexy paaaarty with just 3 people, who would they be?
    Well, hmmm. women, right? yes of coourse. i guess i would have to go with.... man this is a toughie. definitely vanna white, she has nice arms. i guess Judy Garland in her wizard of oooz days, i just loove that movie. and maybe jane jetson... i kinda have a thing for mothers.
3.Speaking of mothers, I heard youve made several unsuccesful attempts at her life.
    Ooohh, hush up you old hound. What mummy doesnt know wont hurt her, right? right?

4.Did you breast feed or has your head always been fucked up like that?
    What was that? How dare you insult me! i'll have you know that i have no biological necessity for that vile creatures "breast milk." i prefer a good scotch or a juice box, whatevers there. As for my head it involves a bizarre bedspring jumping incident that i would rather not talk about.
5.Who could win in a race of wits, you or brian the family dog?
    First off, let me just say... im afraid brian has some "issues", ya know what i mean? i give him guff all the time for his insaaaatiable drinking habits. sometimes brian is at a 9 when we need him at a 2, ya know what i mean? eh? hahaha. ha. ha. please, i am superior to him in all forms of intelligence. he's just a talking dog for christs sake. and look who his master is. i tell you, my whole family has some serious issues. i...yes, i might be the oonly noormal one.

6.Who are all the babies gaga-ing over in daycare?
    I'd have to say that Kirsten Dunst, she's soooo magnificent in spiderman 2. when she gets all wet, oooh, talk about gaagaaaaa. As for the gents, i would say that will smith. if he's into dancing i do a mean robot out at the clubs. even paris hilton complimented me.
7.Dont you wish you could scream out fuck, shit, bitch sometimes at home?
   Well, i dont know who you think youre talking to but i have never heard those words in my liife! i read the dictionary cover to cover, no mention of this shit. shit. hmm, i kinda like it, sounds like a tapioca pudding pie or something...whats it mean? 
8.Do you have a favorite between your two other siblings?
    Pleeeease man. meg, the depressed socially impressionable teenager just trying to fit in with the pretty girls. or chris, the dimwitted video game playing boob obsessed orca model of his father. hmmm, im going to have to go with pass on this question.
9.Whose more unoriginal? Cartman or Bart Simpson?
    Ooooh, tough one. They are both so original. I guess i will go with cartman, he's original now. bart was original in the 90s.  
10. So what kind of inventions are you working on now?
    Well, i'm sorta glad you asked that... ya see, i am kind of finished with this annhihilator 4000. ive been working out the kinks and, this interview is pretty much pissing me off, hang on let me test it out. Youve asked your last question! prepare to be destroyed!


At 7/20/2004 2:26 PM, Blogger jsk323 said...

Wow, that was actually pretty creative. Point!

But how that was created by a brain filled with malted hops and bong resin is beyond me...

At 7/20/2004 3:20 PM, Blogger megan pistachio said...

Reading your blog is like watching VH1.

At 7/21/2004 8:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

that was lame. counting crows - dashboard confessional lame.

At 7/21/2004 9:05 AM, Blogger shoobie said...

so is posting anonymously, pussy


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