Wednesday, March 01, 2006

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Spicy Weekend

I know, its already fucking March 06 and i have written like 10 blogs this year. but i have been slaving away for the Man so dont bust my fucking balls. I have long abandoned the idea that I can constantly come up with one main topic and write an entire thesis on it.... therefore, i bring you the spice that was my awesome weekend.

Choobs was in town after a biz meeting in SC... whenever choo is in town, we always do tons of fun shit. After college, when i would return home to the ville, i realized that all of my high school buddies were soft drinkers and no one could handle partying like i was doing at emory. as a result, nights often consisted of going to grab dinner and a drink, then being tucked away in bed by midnight on a frickin saturday night.... thats just ridiculous. i mean i can still be buddies with them, but they dont have the same cravings for liquid and herbals that my ATL friends do. it was this past christmas that i realized what kind of friend Choob is: the 'Yes Man' friend.

choo will say yes to any activity. if choo were a blood type, he would be O positive. he can chill, he can curl, he can watch tv, he can watch any sport, he can play any sport (except baseball, for some reason), he will go to a casino at fucking 1 am when everyone else has dismissed the idea and he will get you a coke if it looks like youre about to pass out at the table. he will throw darts, play pool, drink heavy, order late night food, kick ass in beer pong, kick ass in trivial pursuit, slaughter people in team trivia, etc etc. the kid is an ideal friend because he will do whatever the fuck YOU want. i mean ya it would be nice to get a controversial opinion or a veto every once in awhile, but the point is that in the great words of Ice Cube, he's "down for whateva".

Friday night a group of 8 dudes headed to hibachi; i called for nakato because of its proximity to Smith's Olde Bar but Edo in toco hills was the call. When the 8 of us sat down at a table, directly across from us was an entire table of black people and 1 white dude. Lets be honest, you dont see that too often in a hibachi place off north druid hills, so instantly the gears started grinding. How funny would that skit be on the Dave Chapelle: the Lost Episodes series. The little asian lady comes out in a kimono and asks the family what they want. Chicken, Chicken, Chicken, Chicken, Chicken, Chicken, and some Chicken...that sounds delicious ill have that. you can take it from there... i just know this setting would be funny for a chapelle show skit.

Why is it that when a group of guys gets together, they only plan the initial activity and wing the rest? girls know exactly where they want to go, what to eat, where to meet up, etc etc. I am telling you we literally had our hands on the cardoor handles before someone asked "where are we gonna go next?" so to Smiths we went, where me and choo dominated yayayan and boozer in darts, then proceeded to get waxed in pool. How fucking hot is Sam, the little country waitress at smiths? and she smokes trees.... i want her pretty bad. thirsty mike joined us at around 12:30 before we headed out to thug night at MJQ. pit stop at home to drop thirsty's car off, not to mention grab a road soda and pack a quick bubbler before heading to the club. get more hammered, dance to prince and MJ and other funk.

i dont like me in this picture, but thirsty's tequila face was too good to pass up

get a call from raahk who was walking up and down ponce at 3:30 am on a friday night outside dugans. uhh dude.... ill be out there in 5 minutes...try not to make eye contact and DEFINITELY dont go inside and order wings. pick his drunk ass up and head home, where the action didnt stop. Stats put on some tunes, bowl packed again, and since there were 5 poker players in the room we had a little $10 tourney 2nd place keeps their money. of course i won that shit, i am the best poker player in the group.

next morning i am rudely awoken by 4 hungry mother fuckers. roll to Brewhouse to check out futbol and hopefully the hockey game, which they promptly changed back to soccer even though no one there was watching any tvs. as a matter of fact, the only group that was there was like 10 women about my age slamming drinks and talking shit and being like, aggressive type-A naughty girls at 1 pm on a saturday. they were dressed like L5P, but i could tell they werent just a group of 10 girlfriends who decided to squat a mile away to celebrate someones bday. I said to my crew I bet they were the Atlanta Rollergirls. sure enough, when one of them stood up and had kneepads on and took off her hoodie to reveal the Rollergirls logo, I was impressed with my keen intuition. Even though they looked so girrrrrrly, and could definitely kick my 5'9 and under crew's ass, i decided to ask for a picture with them. of course i was only thinking about this blog at the time, and the fact that i would potentially put my body in harms way for it should make you all proud. they were surprisingly extremely nice girls, and funny and witty ya know? so imma have to check them out sometime... in the mean time, here it is:

i would probably do ponytails, right below me. the tongue thing always gets me...

after a ridiculous portion of food and a bloody buddy, we had to just chill the rest of the day. later that night we went to bling bling lanes (cheshire) and bowled a rousing game of 2v2v2 bowling with $5 per person per game on the line. i was 0 for 2 despite the fact that i own my own ball. that kinda sucked, but i think the poor performance was directly related to the hour wait before the lane was available where we hammered 5 pitchers in a game of quarters. needless to say the crew was wicked cocked.

Timma! and Raahk are seen here, imbibing some champagne of beers

Yan and his lady friend, who proceeded to take all my money. Dude... its ok to emote.

after this little lady went home to bed, Timma was restless and he could smell the young dripping honeypot in close range. His bare vagina radar is literally the most honed out of the group, and he sensed that there were about 40 little whores who wanted to display their confections for dirty men to gaze upon, while jamming dirty one dollar bills in their twats, thongs, and other slits where money can be put. so we decided to close out the Masters.

although it was very difficult to accomplish, i got some real blurry shots of how an Asian man loves blonde girls with big boobs. i think its funny to watch your friends faces when they are getting a lapdance in front of you. some play it real cool, some take it too seriously, and some curly headed idiots just groan and make fellatio gestures hoping the girl forgets that her job is to take money and make you feel good about it. on a different note, it is difficult to take a discreet picture in a strip club where the vagina is 5 feet away, but i managed as well as i could.

this chick was about 30, but whos complaining about those areolas... not this guy.

anyway sunday rolls in and choo rolls out, life goes on. but i got to do basically every activity that i enjoy minus the whole coitus thing. who knows, maybe this weekend will bring that instead. jonny is out of town til friday, i am going to be skancin like a mother fucker this week.


At 3/24/2006 11:27 AM, Blogger Wintermute said...

this post is 2 weeks old. dude, you've fallen off the wagon.


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