Monday, January 30, 2006

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I would like this post to be full of comments of your own versions of this joke. If you have not seen the movie, go rent it today. without further ado....
(please, god of web filters, do not screen this blog at work after this post)
**update 2/1/06- for those who are in the dark over how creepy this post is, here is a little sampler of Full House's Bob Saget joke.

So a guy gets back into his office after a long weekend in vegas. his buddy coworker comes in and asks, "tell me how was your trip?" the guy says, "vegas was amazing... i danced, i drank, i gambled, and i saw the most amazing show ive ever seen in my entire life...."

A family comes on stage dressed in their shiny silver and purple outfits. its the dad, the mom, the three sons, the baby girl, and their cute little dog. they start juggling flaming batons, jumping through hoops, the whole works. then the father motions for the kids to come sit in three chairs set up on stage. the wife rips off all his clothes and starts blowing him right in front of the kids. then she changes positions and just starts tearing into his asshole with her tongue, lashing it over and over again. he goes to his first kid, rips off all the kids clothes, picks up the little dog, douses it in cocoa butter, and starts spreading it all over the kids little cock and balls. then he goes to the other 2 kids and does the same thing. after his kids are all greased up, he picks up mommy and lays her across their laps. the first son is fucking his mom, the second son is titty fucking her, and the third son is getting a blowjob. the father then proceeds to ream her asshole while pulling her hair and making the kids watch. when the dad pulls his cock out of mommys ass, the wife's pink sock is exposed. he puts the baby down and lets her play with mommys pink sock, batting it around like a little sock puppet. he then proceeds to jerk off and goes down the line spraying his little kids in the face and mouth with baby batter. the wife, stimulated by all her orifices being filled, starts to cum puddles all over the kids and the stage. the babys little tugs on her anal lining cause her to spray shit all over the babys face. after the dad is done gizzing all over the sons, mommy gets up and spreads eagle on the stage floor. the dog hops down and starts licking her shit and cumstained pussy while the little boys gather in a circle around mommy and proceed to piss and shit all over mommys hair and face. after the kids are done they start to make little snow angels on stage in the piss and shit. the father scolds them and tells them they have been bad boys. he tells the boys to kneel over their chairs and pulls out a paddle like he's going to spank them. instead he proceeds to bludgeon the kids one at a time, crushing their skull and causing blood to spatter all over the front row. he makes mommy stand up, strap on a giant dildo, and poke out their dead sons eyeballs with the rubber phallus. the dad then fucks his dead sons assholes while the mom skullfucks their eye sockets while giving each other high fives to complete the eiffel tower. with shards of skull and blood and shit and puke and cum on his dick, the father lays down on stage and directs his wife to lay the baby girls tight little asshole on top. the dog gets in on the action by licking his pukey balls clean. then the wife hovers her drenched vagina over his face, spreads her loose lips all the way around his head, and proceeds to suffocate him to death. she puts the dog in her purse, picks up her baby in one arm, bows to the audience, and exits stage left.

the coworker was shocked... he had never heard such vulgarity. finally after a few moments of awkward silence, he breaks the tension and says "holy shit, that IS the craziest show ive ever heard of.... whats it called?" the man replied, the aristocrats.


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