Tuesday, January 24, 2006

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Calm yourself bitches, a new one is coming forth. but i had to just interrupt my own thoughts to talk to the gentlemen in the audience. today i found out something i feel like we should all be privy to. women, you can back me up on this.

when a girl decides that it is finally time to end things, or you put the stepping onto a girl, she is always left in a state of sadness and regret and abandonment and all that sappy shit. it sucks for her. bad. but check this shit out. once the girl has finished weeping and moaning and fucking about for a few days, she will 100% without a doubt do the only thing that will make her feel all better inside and forget all about you. no, she wont just delete you from her celly like in the commercials (although if she were smart, she would keep you on there for caller ID purposes). she wont eat bonbons like peggy bundy. she might have hatefucking sex with a random, but that wont make her forget all about your dumbass.

no no, it is a guarantee word is bond cross my heart and hope to die FACT that a girl will make an appointment at a spa/salon thingy and get a facial, massage, cucumber eyelid shit, etc etc. in order to forget about you forever. its like when the soap and cremes all wash away, so does the memory of you, buddy. so stop stalking and get back on the fucking horse. if women can forget you with the de-stressing of the shoulders, you can down 12 shots and start anew. that is all gentlemen. thought you should know this shit.


At 1/25/2006 12:24 AM, Blogger Michael Memberg said...

I don't believe that Nokia girl ever had a boyfriend in the first place, unless you replace boy with ham and friend with burger. In that case, she has about 12 boyfriends a week.

At 1/25/2006 8:44 AM, Blogger SK said...

Actually, I don't delete 'his' number. I move him to the "DO NOT ANSWER GROUP" and have it go directly to vm. (To avoid answering those inevitable booty calls) And I change his name to start with "Z" to indicate he's toast so he goes to the bottom of my phone book. It's a wasteland of sorts - and usually good writing material.

At 1/31/2006 2:12 AM, Blogger Fat Asian Baby said...

hmmm. i dont' know why i never thought of that before.

At 1/31/2006 9:59 AM, Blogger shoobie said...

MM-- forgot to comment, but that was fucking hilarious man... laughed out loud at work.


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