Wednesday, December 28, 2005

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Decadence and Depravity

Its wednesday and i am back in the cube... for what reason, i have no idea. no one is here. i just got back from a whirlwind trip to the ville and back, friday to tuesday. it was quite enjoyable. as with all of my road trips, i was back on the sauce again. since i havent really been puffing you can imagine the effect vitamin M had on my video game driving skills, ipod clutch playlist picking, having my own personal paranoia as a radar detector, and of course lots of stored up thoughts in my noggin.

1. i have a cool new invention. the target audience would be young people who take road trips or drive long distances through many states. ok so you know that each state has college favorite teams. and kids plaster their team all over their rear window- stickers, hats, etc. there should be a flippable rear window sticker holder where you can slide in any state you want. i bet cops would be less likely to pull an out of state driver over if he had that state's window sticker in his window. just a thought here people.

2. sunflower seeds are delicious. and people who eat seeds are cool too.

3. you know how sometimes you go over to a girls place and she will be dragging out the clock on the inevitable nudity that must transpire between two people with sexual tension? lets say she's in the kitchen and she asks you if you want anything to drink. wouldnt it be nice if when we ask for a glass of water, the girl knew she was about to give head + swallow because you were chivalrous enough to think about washing away the after taste?

4. there should be a website out there that allows you to dynamically plan a road trip based on types of cool sites, activities, cities, etc. that you want to stop in. google labs, get on it bitches. just plug the maps thing up to travel guides.

5. whatever happened to cross colours? why were black people wearing dashiki shit for about 8 years and then it vanished like thin air?

6. (i thought of this before south park) why do people go to group meetings re: alcoholism, mj, coke, etc? besides the fact that they are based on prayer and jesus and forgiveness and all that shit, why would you want to dwell in misery with other miserable people? whats the point of sharing your shitty story with other shitty people with shitty stories? why do you need to be validated by other people trying to turn their lives around? group meetings seem like more of a depressant than a valuable network of peer help to me. its like their sole purpose is to gather a bunch of people with one problem and make them all feel like losers together. devils advocate, chime in... i cant tell if i am being too insensitive or not.

7. if you are a comcast/hbo subscriber and also not a retard, then you should know that there is a feature called onDemand. and on demand you can gain access to movies on hbo and also lots of the series of certain episodes. right now, in anticipation of the march sopranos season, you can catch all of Sopranos: Season 1. i have watched the whole thing now, and i must say... season 1 is way darker than the shit that is on now. in the current season, there are so many plot lines that they have to devote focus to all of them. in the first season, everything revolves around tony. tony's dreams, tony's psychiatrist sessions, tony's family, tony's head. the writing is way darker. AJ and meadow look like little fucking kids. there are way more random titty shots of strippers. and adrianna isnt having BM movements... she is just a hostess at artie buco's restaurant, being introduced for season 2. watching season 1 over again is like the star wars phenomenon... you can tell where certain things are going and foreshadowing is rendered ineffective. season 1 was the only one i watched, when it came out, because i was home for that summer with HBO. but i couldnt remember any of the events... it was like a clean slate. so even if you are a huge fan, or just want to see what the hype is about, check out Season 1 on demand. i am telling you, the reason the show is a success is because of this season. it hooked people early.

i have one more blog-a-comin. it will take some time. holler to the comments section if youre bored at work today, since no one else is there to unbore you.


At 12/28/2005 11:51 AM, Blogger Paulie said...

#1: very cool idea. maybe i'll buy those school window flags and switch them when appropriate.

#4: that was what the AAA (very different than AA) was really good at back in the day.

At 12/28/2005 4:00 PM, Blogger Amber said...

wouldnt it be nice if when we ask for a glass of water, the girl knew she was about to give head + swallow because you were chivalrous enough to think about washing away the after taste?

Wait... you mean there are people who don't know that?

I mean, personally I prefer the "how about a BJ" approach, but I suppose there is something to be said for subtlety, as well.

At 12/29/2005 3:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said... - unrelated to any of the scrapple you just posted, but so fing clutch i had to share

At 12/29/2005 11:28 AM, Blogger shoobie said...

amber how about a bj?
oh shit you still have the boyfriend of my dreams....


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