My 48 Hour Bender

In England, the word bender is associated with homosexual dudes getting freaky with each other's bungholes. In america, the word means (Slang). A spree, especially a drinking spree. now as you all know, i have a 9 to 5er here at the gov, so 48 hour drinking marathons are pretty much out of the question. i would do a 48 hour herbal revitalization treatment, but probably wouldnt be able to function on friday, let alone write a blog. i play poker, but if i played for 48 hours straight i would be rich enough to quit working here. so what 48 hour bender am i referencing here? that would be the greatest addiction of all: Halo 2.

Thats right, I went on a 48 hour video game bender after Tuesday's release of Halo 2. So here is roughly my schedule (and of course the reason i didnt blog at all)

Tuesday November 9
3:45 pm - Get home to find pre-ordered copy of Halo 2 in mailbox. Me and the other millions of nerds out there rip open the packaging and flip through the 'how to' guide. then i started playing campaign mode to test my rusty halo-ing skills. (smoking throughout the bender should be insinuated)
7:00 pm - Remove headset with microphone for nerd shit talking and proceed to Philips Arena to watch the Atlanta Hawks move into prime position as the 0-4 worst-season-record-EVER title contenders. Lebron James has 3 dunks, which are nice, but this NBA game was too vanilla for my liking. i.e. NO fast breaks, only 3 TOTAL 3-pointers were actually made.
10:00 pm - anxiously awaiting my addiction back home, coren takes me and kapil on a CNN tour. the place is empty, apparently there were some people on hand in case Arafat croaked and the free world celebrated his passing by filling the streets with cries of 'Thank Allah, He's Gone' signs.
10:30 pm - Return to lair and sign up for xbox live account. Begin to play nerds from all over the country. 14 year olds dupe their moms into thinking they are asleep, meanwhile they are assassinating my 24 year old ass.
11:00 pm - Dwelly comes over to play in the papasan, and the two of us crush several children into oblivion.

Wednesday November 10
3:00 am - I decide that after many many bowls of sour diesel and kush kush, i have to call it a night. dave, can you please head home so i can get to work tomorrow? thanks bra.
3:05 am - Turn the xbox on for one more game. Lose track of all reality.
7:30 am - an hour left until the alarm for work wakes me up, and i am now at a level 6 on 'every man for himself' ranking mode. god damn i am a huge huge dork. go to mcdonalds breakfast, pound that, write email to boss on blackberry that i will not be able to come in, i am sick, pass out of exhaustion.
5:00 pm - wake up from sleep. instead of working 9am to 5pm, i have now officially slept those hours instead. turn on xbox, play four more hours until the poker game on wednesdays.
9:30 pm - head to poker game. get shelled. i cannot get any good cards, and when you dont get good cards you overplay the shitty ones. it sucks, and i lost 180 (in 7 hours). somewhere in the midst of all this gambling, i find out that Thursday is a federal holiday. Apparently its veterans day. who cares, i am so excited that i dont know what to do with myself.

Thursday November 11
4:30 am - finally finish poker game, they had a 7 man (well, and one hot poker chick lady) tournament at the end so i stuck in for that, she took all my chips. i am too distracted by boobies to be able to play against girls. but instead of going home and just catching up on the ridiculous hours i have kept, i decide that what the hell its a vacation day, i may as well just pull an ALL NIGHTER. but i decide to watch a movie first...ya know, just in case i fall asleep during it at least i will get a few hours of zzzz in before i halo2 all night again. i havent pulled an all nighter since college, and even then i think i did about 6 total. at least 2 of those 6 were due to Halo 1.
8:30 am - the movie was really good, so i unfortunately wanted to watch the whole thing. since i was wide awake, juiced up on caffeine and cigs, for some reason, i decide to phone dwelly and leave a voice mail that i am off work, playing halo 2 all day, he should come over. he gets the voice mail because he is mysteriously awake. somehow the gods have looked kindly upon us, because he is there by 9 am locked and loaded.
2:00 pm - dave leaves, justin is all alone. grab lunch. play a few more hours. decide that in order to re-adjust sleep schedule, i should just stay up until about 9pm and then hit the sack for 11 hours of sleep. katz gets back from out of town work, we watch south park and hit a bowl. then i trickle off to bed where i ACTUALLY FINALLY FALL ASLEEP and dont play halo2 at all last night.
10:00 pm - pass the fuck out.

and now youre caught up on my life..... thats where i have been for 48 hours.

ahhhhahahhhhhh ahhhhhhahahhhhhhhh (theme song)