Friday, October 29, 2004

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Halloween o Rama

THIS IS MY 100TH Post! That means 100 straight days of unproductivity at the office :)

So once again a major holiday is upon us, and no one can decide what to do. Here is my ideal halloween plans for this year. Friday night, go to jen and katies little suare in the highlands. The evite has girls outnumbering guys 4:1. never in the history of evites have the vajinas stacked up so deep compared to the pene. Its too bad i am dressing like the biggest homosexual man on the planet, otherwise dinkle was a lock. saturday check out some football, pre game, go to eisenbergs for some cocktails and donuts and bbq apparently. then hoof it/cab it to Park Tavern for the 3000+ party spiralween. Get on stage, win $1000 in costume competition, leave park tavern, get limo to 1150, get a table and however many hookers and bottles you can get for a thousand bones. sunday recover in time for 4:30 routing of denver broncos by atlien falcons. vick dashes for 100+ yards, 4 TDs thrown, plus warrick dunn actually opens up a can in just one game all season.
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Next, here are my top 10ish lists for halloween. some of them were a lot funnier yesterday when i was in a chronic state of chronic, but here goes.

DISCLAIMER: Any of these costumes are perfectly fine to wear. The sexier and more scantilly clad the better. But if you want to keep a guys interest on halloween, at least be more original.

TOP 10 Most Played Out Halloween Costumes
Playboy Bunny
A Cat
Dirty Nun
French Maid
Cheerleader
Angel/Devil
Butterfly
Fairy Godmother
Belly Dancer/Genie
Vampire

Top 8 Most Wanted Halloween Costumes
Girl Scout with crotchless panties
Dirty Office Secretary w/ rimmed glasses
Leather Clad St. Pauli Girl
Sexy Blonde Ladycop with Vibrating Billystick
Group of Naughty Lingerie Pillow Fighting Girls
Lollipop Girl With 70s Hairdo
Roller Girl with Oral Fixation
High School Nurse with "Footlong" Ruler for Slapping
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Halloween story (fiction or no?)
One halloween i ate 2 1/2 brownies and caught counting crows at The Tabernacle. (10/31/02) I was completely cocked and had so many jack and cokes i have no idea what any of the songs were. I just remember seeing adam duritz in the infamous halloween pink bunny costume. (Hop on my choo choo ill be your engine driver in a bunny suit, if you dress me up in pink and white we may be just a little fuzzy bout it later tonight) Somehow get home to buckhead where i accidentally drunk IM a little jewish girl who is a self-declared nympho. she tells me to come over and its all over when i walk in to find her in a little fuzzy blue pajama top thing, nothing on under. do all that shit and accidentally pass the fuck out at about 5 in the morning. (4 hour sess, not bad eh ladies?) wake up at 8 and awkwardly leave. walk around the parking lot for about 30 minutes in the blinking cold searching for my car. lipstick on my dipstick, head pounding worse than a mike tyson opponent, the car is nowhere to be found. now i have to go BACK to the girls door and get her to drop me off at a buddies. miraculously wake up skanciel and pass out on their futon until 3 pm. call police and towing places, no picking up the phone on friday morning apparently. get a ride home. pass out for more hours. get picked up to go out the next night. then on saturday call the tow place to find out that my car has been there for 2 days. get a ride there, shell out $170. fucking best halloween ever.
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Dont you wish you worked for the MAN?!? Then you could go to office parties.....


The hardware guy who definitely does NOT want to be here.


The most excited worker in the room, getting ready to play some fun 'Halloween Office Games'!
(she's a swing state)


More excited coworkers!


Dudes, open your fucking eyes! (the only cool coworker in the whole 'joint')
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And last but certainly not least... a little candy for your eyes.


3 Comments:

At 10/29/2004 1:55 PM, Blogger cmdrslappy said...

yo, in that pic up there, what's your costume supposed to be? a lokie?

hehe, lokies.

 
At 11/01/2004 8:06 AM, Blogger League of Night and Fog said...

What ever DID happen to those triplets that nearly killed Hugh Hefner with large quantities of Viagra?

Sharp Pencils

 
At 2/21/2017 6:52 PM, Anonymous Kelinci Holland Lop said...

Great post.
Kelinci Holland Lop
Kelinci Holland Lop

 

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