10 Burning Questions with Eminem

Tight rhymes. Tight crew. Tight haircut. Eminem is a baller, and cant no one fuck with him. But what burns inside his heart? Who does he long for? What is he passionate about in terms of world philosophy, values, child rearing? These are certainly buzz words around em's posse, d-12, the phattest boy band around. but today, we are going to skip those nonsensical and otherwise unfunny interview concepts and cut to the shallow side of a multi-million dollar white rabbit hip hop star.

10. So em, lets cut to some real dirty dirty secrets about your past. where are you really, really from, like dont give us the detroit slum story.
Hey whats up vicklanta. thanks for makin the time. alright man, you want the truth. straight. my real name is marshall mathers. my real mom's name is debbie. but that lady you see in the media, the crazy lady, she is not my mom. i grew up in detroit, but we were pretty much a normal white middle class family. i basically murdered my real family, sold all our shit, moved to the streets so i could make it look real, then built up my skills on the street and signed with dre. he didnt know what hit him, and thats how i am here today.

9. Crazy. So now that youre all up in the video, whats your next move.
Well as you know my boys d-12 put out a new album, i just been promotin that right now. i was thinkin of doin more movies, trying to expand my roles there. as you all know i dont sell out to product labels... but just this once, ive also been signed to do a new fanta theme song because that current shit is wack.

8. Speaking of new albums, i have always wanted to know... why does it take so long for rap groups to come out with new albums. why cant you just cut one a year like rock groups?
The answer to that one is pretty simple.... we do it when we run out of fucking money. Bling costs money. Jags cost money. Rims and tims cost money. hoes cost money. my hoes cost a lot of money...wish i could just kill these hoes. listen man, when you smoke the chronic all day and sit around in the pool and go to parties and vip your shit out, why the hell would you cut a new record. you just put it out when you need a uh, how do you call it, a rejuvey.

7. So what does brittany murphy taste like?
vanilla ice cream with cherries on top
what about christina aguilera?
cinammon apples

6. If you had to shoot one rap star in the face right now, who would get the bullet?
50-cent, for real. i know it may not kill him but someone needs to slap him upside the head. that mother fucker talks his mouth off too much. im all about the dollar who the fuck is 50 cent


5. Does the US Olympic Dream Team stand a chance this year?
I dunno man, AI dropped that 3 ball buzzer beater to turn things around. But they did get smoked pretty badly. If theyre strugglin to keep up with the teams that arent even in it, hell no they got no shot. you know what sport i like? hockey. ive been trying to get my crew to roll out to Red Wings games but apparently, black people dont enjoy hockey. ive never understood that, ya know, being white and all.

4. Could have fooled us. So lets do some word associations.
Jigga. pussy.
Puffy. maggot.
Dre. chronic.
money. necessary.
mommy. evil.
cankles. dude what the fuck are cankles. ya know, fat ankles.... oh, sexy.


3. If you could have sex with one female rap artist who would it be.
hmm, that list is kinda long. beyonce is at the top. eve. lil kims tittie. missy -40.

2. Would you ever let your daughter Haley and Lil Romeo do a duet, maybe like a hip hop version of the popular white Grease song 'Summer Nights'.
these are the fucking dumbest questions ive ever heard. why dont you ask me about d12. i know you want to promote my crew like we agreed to over the phone....

1. To settle all controversy over this issue...would you ever, ever, ever marry or even have sex with a fan of yours who loved everything you rhymed about and would do whatever you wanted, the only catch being that she is a nice jewish girl..would you ever bone her?
sounded good up until that whole jewish girl thing. nah, not my style. all jewish girls can officially stop sweating my nuts! it aint gonna happen.


here we see em with his WT mother