Kentuckyism #1

Kirsten Dunst is single again. mmm, hear my plea. piiiilllooow tooop. piiilllooow top.
Funny name, funny story, funny coincidence.
Things are spicing up in Vicklanta.
Something to give you a pick-me-up in life 
===============================
Yan Katz, you get a point for calling that i would have to do this. According to my roomie, there are enough random weird and strange things that go on in kentucky that would necessitate a series of kentucky confessions. with that in mind

Kentuckyism #1
Every single spanish teacher in kentucky is completely and undeniably insane beyond repair. It sucks for the people reading who truly have not experienced the foreign language program in kentucky schools, but i assure you... i will describe it in full detail for the imagination.

Ms. Randolph
  Ms. randolph was fucking crazy. i mean, she had no fucking clue what kinda shit was going down in her middle school classroom. she is about 5'6, haitian, speaks french and spanish, and is definitely on some serious prozac. she was so nice and if she had taught any other subject, im sure we would have been sweethearts... but she taught spanish, and when you teach spanish you get fucked with. i remember a few things, memory is fading but... we used to fucking grab a whole box of chalk from her desk and just gun full pieces at each other from across the room. like when we would take a quiz you would just hear it whiz by you and shatter into tiny pieces against the wall. we convinced her all the time to just let us watch a movie. then we would sit in the back and play spades. Ms. randolph eats cheeseburgers too(inside joke). one time chiu and i had to do a presentation on items in the bedroom. since the only way i learned in school was to cheat off chiu, an oral presentation was going to be a bit difficult. instead of flunking us chiu convinced her to let us go outside in the halls to learn the necessary vocab. of course instead of staying on task we rolled down to Mr. Schmidts for some soda and a little goof off time.  anyhoo, michelle stories are more than welcome in the comments section. ella es muy loco.

Mrs. Taylor
  Mrs. Taylor was a nice christian lady who was actually fully american and enjoyed la vida that espanol teaching provided. She was the sponsor of the Spanish Club at du pont manuel, which in the public school system means no overtime and lots of sopapilla parties. her daughter, bethany taylor, was considered one of the hottest girls running from 1st thru 12th grade. I mean is that possible, to be hot at the age of 8 and 18? 8 year olds dude. anyway, she was about 5'1 and looked like a pear with mr. potato head eyes. big fucking eyes. uhh, im shuddering right now. they still haunt me late at night. mrs. taylor hated me and most of my friends because she knew we were fucking good at spanish, she knew we put forth effort in almost every other subject, and yet for some reason the unwritten rules of the spanish class called for chaos, irrational spanish translating, and lots and lots of cheating and naps. fucking bitch. is manda copsey gonna have to choke a bitch? next

Mrs. Wold
 Like Mrs. Taylor, Mrs. Wold was a very conservative christian lady with an extremely blonde and very tight like a tiger daughter stephanie. god damn, stephanie wold. mmm. she is the spitting image of a girls gone wild girl. i could never date her because her name is my sisters name (no, that is not kentucky confession #2.) but you see where im going here. The mother fucking hated us for hitting on her daughter. we all knew she was claimed, but who gives a shit. you get to the daughter you get to the mom. and what a fucking mom she was. mrs. wold was a fucking cunt of a teacher. i can honestly say that mrs. wold probably had the worst professional career of her life when we stepped into her classroom. she was the kinda lady who hated that corporal punishment was banned....but youd never know. instead she just stood there like a fucking bitch with her arms crossed speaking spanish to us like we fucking knew what she was saying. i dont think i could bring myself to hate fuck her, she's that bad. but her ridiculous pouty bitch attitude couldnt hold a candle to the truest and most fucked up spanish teacher of all time:

Roy Crady 
  Mr. Crady, a legend in his own mind, a man who many men and women fear. let me give you a little background on this shady fuck. he's about 5'8, buzzcut, army moustache, wears sunglasses in class. other job is to work at a halfway house. a halfway house is a place where criminals who are released from jail but are still on probation stay to be monitored. so by day, he teaches 16 year old kids. by night, he barrades and harasses ex cons. wow, good hire move. crady used to have these 5 or 6 assistants in every class. it was like the smartest kids and they usually had to do 1/3 of the workload as the rest of the class. the best part though was he would pull sporadic quizzes and if an assistant missed too many he fired them and picked a new one. i think i got it about half the way through the year and god damn i loved every minute of it. we even got to go out on the 4th floor roof and play sometimes. the best teaching tool in the whole world was of course the latin american hit Destinos. After a drunk survey at a bar, and calculating odds and accuracy, i would say that 19 out of 20 people who took spanish in high school had to watch Destinos at some point. rosaaaario, rosaaario. raquel juga futbol con paco y emilia. despite his crazy vietnam hooker stories and his wrong emphASIS on the wrong syLABble while telling long drawn out tales of bailando con mujeres espanolas, he taught me more spanish than anyone else had accomplished.

Spanish teachers in kentucky are all nuts. its a fact. find me a normal foreign language teacher in kentucky and ill find you a jewish girl who doesnt like louis vuitton.