My Entourage

For those of you without the best channel on television (besides comedy central), you can read up on this show here. Basically Marky Mark is back doing an hbo series about how badass his crew used to roll. it was like a bunch of brooklyn kids getting tossed into the hollywood scene. Basically this show only ignites two emotions out of me: laughter and jealousy.

The toppest of top shelf muff strolls around in every shot. its park avenue pooch if you know what im saying nyc. these guys have an unlimited reload supply of girls. they always take home girls. they can just show up and they have everyone looking at them. its sick, its revolting, and i am envious as hell. all in all though, the show is getting better every epsiode. i highly recommend checking it out.... i throw a little entourage/ali g party sunday nights. have your people call my people if youre interested.

Anyway, so I got to thinking...who in the world would i want in my entourage if i could form one. and here we go... (this whole idea might be a little not hetero)

1. Ryan Phillipe

ever since Cruel Intentions i have been a big fan of this guy. he has mad style. i guess he is sometimes cast as the abnormal weird gay guy sometimes, but his handiwork with sara michelle gellar was outstanding. he also has a black belt, in case i sputter off at a party and he has to lay down an ass kicking on someone. i feel like he is pretty versatile and can click with a pretty random crew, which is what my entourage is.

2. Owen Wilson

this guy would be fucking hilarious to hang out with on a day to day basis. his sense of humor is always on the mark and his sarcasm is crucial to any posse of mine. i sense that he participates in a variety of extracurricular activity, mainly lots of pot smoking. although he claims he cant dance, his zoolander choreography is vital to the group while bouncing around from club to club. his 10mil salary for starsky and hutch could come in handy in the no-free-handouts department.

3. Urshur

Usher is definitely a main ingredient in this posse. he can rap, he can write, he can sing, he can dance, he gets so many yatches, he has tight chiseled abs...ooh a little too far. what? what? oooook! yaaaaa! so obviously you need to have some diversity in your entourage, usher would be my black vote. plus his bling bling connections and fubu bcbg fashion knowledge is necessary.

4. Breckin Meyer

This guy is already pretty good buddies with Ryan Phillipe, they are in businees with seth green apparently. (i didnt know that before this list) anyway, doesnt breckin meyer seem like a pretty chilled out funny dude to hang out with. maybe. as you all know, amy smart road trip scene was hot as hell... lucky mother fucker. anyway despite most of these people being married, i know that breckin meyer can hang out and booze and watch football and mack on girls with. he is a good addition. plus he's the same height as i am, he really ties the entourage together.

runners up:
5. spliff starr from busta's entourage -- once i saw spliff on stage with a condom for a hat and he was high as fuck from getting smoked out by my friend hoffman and he was just trying to get a jewish emory white girl to come backstage with him. anyone who walks into that lion pit can be in my entourage anyday.

6. Jason Statham (the dude from snatch and transporter) -- hey everyone needs a european dude in their crew...preferably one who doesnt wear tight leather clothes. i bet this guy could kill anyone who fucks with us. his humor is surprisingly fresh for a british person.