Monday, April 17, 2006

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Fuck Tha Police

Not two weeks from the entire "wow, ATL cops are cool" ixperience i had, they had to go and fuck it all up by doing the exact shit i praised them for not doing....

on thursday despite the fact that i wanted to play with my warm new box all night, it turns out that poker games still rank higher on the ixpyramid. so after dinner i pack a big fat bowl and roll out to the game (gables rock springs). now the problem is i need cash and the closest, most totally inconvenient route is straight down highland to the wachodia at virginia ave. so i pull onto north highland and get stuck at the ponce light. and of course, a cop rolls up right behind me. then for the entire (important) stretch of highland ave, this cop is behind me. i am going 35, i am braking to check for pedestrians, i am not doing a fucking thing wrong ya know-- and i would never drive this safely....but i saw the cop the whole time.

i signal my blinker to turn left onto virginia ave and mid-turn the cop flicks on the lights. FUCK. so i do the extra left and i am literally right in front of my destination, the wachodia atm. so i am blazed, pulled over, but there isnt a damn thing inside.

i will just interject that being pulled over is the fucking worst. you have no idea what the outcome of the pullover will be and nothing good can usually ever come of it. also even if youre never paranoid on ganj, it is inevitable you will be paranoid as fuck when the cop pulls you over. so basically that means i was talking like in the scared bitch voice.

the black hot lady officer is on my drivers side and she has a dude officer who is rolling up my shotgun side. she asks me to roll the passenger side window down as well. then...
her: wheres your seatbelt my man? (FUCK).
me: oh im sorry about that....
her: so how we doin tonight?
me: doin alright
her: is there anything in this car you want to tell me about?
me: nope
her: so weve been following you all the way down highland, me and officer tall black dude, and we smelled something funny coming out of the car. were you smoking some marijuana or something?
me: no
(meanwhile the other cop has his flashlight out trying to find anything bad in the back seat)
her: let me get your license.

she walks away and so does the other guy. phew, ok, time to think sharp here.... compose yourself. what can she possibly do? jack shit. you were smoking a cig and no cop can smell a bowl you smoked 10 minutes ago. youre cool. cool as a cucum--

her: my man, we know we smelled something coming from your car.
me: listen i live right off of highland. i saw you pull behind me this entire way. i was smoking a cigarette and you know it. i was coming down here to get cash and go home. theres nothing in my car and...(sigh) i dont know what you want me to do.(?)
her: have a good night.

hands me my license and peels off. FUCKING BITCH. and she was hot too. i would have definitely nailed her in any other situation. i mean ive heard of racial profiling, but stoner profiling? what the fuck. first question out of her mouth was about weed? fuck her...

and an answer to toma-- those cool cops never called jonny back about the court thing, so who knows what happened. jonny didnt follow up so i cant follow up. as far as i am concerned, they can all get fucked minus the one cool cop.

so to wrap it all up.... fuck tha police. that is all.

2 Comments:

At 4/17/2006 2:25 PM, Blogger jsk323 said...

That's crazy. I guess they saw the sihlouette of your ix and knew what was up.

I believe that profiling of stoners is one of the most important issues of our time. Almost on the level of apartheid, but without the high profile figureheads to bring the issue to the forefront of the political scene.

(PLEASE read that comment with the sarcasm that it deserves...)

 
At 4/17/2006 2:51 PM, Blogger jsk323 said...

Informal poll:

a)Have you watched Big Love?
b)Do you like it?

Basically I think it's an awful show. I mean how much can they possibly do with that theme. We get it...he has 3 wives. No one else knows about it. The fact that he has 3 wives creates stressful situations at home, moreso than would come about with 1 wife. End of story. On the other hand, Shoobie fucking loves the show because he's a big dramatic bitch who loves the deep emotional struggles that take place in this clearly screwed up family. I mean, 3 wives means 3 times the drama and 3 times the sappy moments between these 3 slaves (essentially) and their master. Seriously it's just the Brady Bunch on steroids.

 

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