Tuesday, November 08, 2005

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Arm Candy

(i am working on a spicy 2nd post, just bare with me.. hehe, bare.)

Soo you were invited to your cousins mothers sisters (your mom, right?) 25 year anniversary party. and the party is apparently going to blow the doors off your bar mitzvah (12 years, 2 days ago) there are going to be mad important people in the room in terms of your currur; guys you need to talk to for a little bit about job stuff but you want to soften their eyes a little bit. maybe knock back a few before you head over there and schmooze your fucking head off for the next 35 minutes. now when you normally go to these things, your jappy jewish mother is always like 'you can bring anyone you want'. read: where the fuck is a girlfriend?! but you really dont have one. i mean you want one, there just arent any chilled out cool ones biting at your bait ya know. but this particular party requires a date. lets say theres some datey activities during the party and maybe the brunch the next day that you have to have a chicky in tow. what do you do?

now you dont have to worry, partner. there is this concept that i was recently made aware of and have just fictionalized in the above story. thats right, if a situation pops up where you basically have to have a date and she has to act like a girlfriend even if she isnt, you need to get yourself some 'arm candy'. its the new eye candy, except you get to touch and parade around and pretend for a day. the only reason i heard this term is because my hot coworker said it and i think its funny as shit.

there are girls out there who would be a good friend and go as your date just so you can show her off to other boys. they know they're hot, you know they're hot, and they want everyone else to know that you know that they're hot. and that, dear readers, is a new term you can sling around your IM convos. more to come shortly.


At 11/08/2005 2:46 PM, Blogger JODSTER said...

Arm Candy.. I thought that was the little candy bracelets that you could wear and eat.

Mmmm... Candy...

Candy would be a good name for one of your arm candies..

At 11/13/2005 10:49 AM, Blogger katlanta said...

...Except if it's one of those multi-day things, your parents make your arm candy get a separate hotel room, so the sh*t ends up getting expensive...for that much money I want "arm filet mignon."

At 11/15/2005 12:32 AM, Blogger SK said...

Sorry hon, but that's not a new term. It's sort of like the straight-man's version of a 'beard'.

At 11/17/2005 6:45 PM, Blogger Wintermute said...

this was a classic, but it's time for some new material.

where've you been?


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