Just Feeling Saucy Today

ok the reason i started this bad boy blog was to discuss rants and raves about global topics we can all understand. but, its innewiwabel. inewiwabl. inevitable that eventually i talk about totally selfish topics. like today. i am feeling like the fucking money, like the bomb today. perhaps its the fact that house parties are so fucking rare that a two-fer halloween weekend is just so necessary right now. wintermute has thrown some goodies before, so i am stoked bro. i cant decide which order i should go to the two parties.... any input sackhil?

and speaking of indians and feeling like the bomb, i will now get to the point of todays blog. i love playing cards. i mean i know i have talked about games throughout the 2ish years, and they have been some good nights, but last night i played in a brand new poker game and just fucking tore up the mother fucker. paulie, you can take notes son. the first thing i did correctly was to arrive 20 minutes late so i could pick a seat. picking a seat in any poker game is crucial, but especially in a new game where youve heard rumors its soft. ideally, you want to be on the right side of any soft/weak/folding players and to the left of all the crazies who raise/play anything loosely. that way you get to see what is being bet before you decide to raise or fold-- there is no call. last night i knew half the people in the room and got the money spot to their left. the night before i was on the wrong side of this equation and it damaged my stacks badly.

the second thing i did correctly was not show up stoned, but just show up with bag in pocket for later 'sup ups'. now i know this doesnt affect us all, but i truly believe in the powers of potent pot and the fact that it throws everyone off your game. you smile but youre really nervous. you get serious and they think you have the nuts. you say outlandish shit all the time. and of course it gives you insight into the fifth level of poker thinking, namely: what does he think i think he thinks i have?

third, and this is true for every game, i was getting some damn good cards. the thing is, so was everyone else. AA was seen 7 times last night, and we're talking 7/180 hands right? thats insane. they only got cracked 2/7 times. mine held. i also saw KK, QQ, 10-10, 5-5. lots of pocket pairs. and of course they hit a lot. or nothing hit and i was money. but i must say i also doubled up right away with 3-6. ya know? i was hitting cards like a champ no matter what i had.

so now begs the question: so what, you were getting cards and hence the luck factor was swinging karmatically your way, right?

if you ask that question then you dont know the first thing about poker. good poker players do not believe in luck until the end of the night when they cash out or bust out. until then its a skill game with no-limit texas. setting up plays where you fold so that three hands later you can check raise your set into his top pair. slow rolling your nuts when the board flops rainbow. these are the moves that throw deception into poker, not the slap happy look on my face from smoking a j.

i called my time to leave as 12:30 am. i didnt leave until 1:45. they kinda begged for me to stay since it was short handed, and since i was up about 60 bucks i figured what the hell. i love poker. so i originally bought in for $30 and had $90 in my stack. everyone else at the table had a good amount of chips and this was the shark crew, the guys who will take your whole bankroll without dropping a tear. on the button i look down and see QQ. luckily someone else raised to 2 bucks and i called. then my buddy who is really really good raised it to 10 in the small blind. everyone folds, i call. flop comes 9-10-5 two hearts. he bets 10, i call. ($48 pot) blank on the turn. he bets $15, i say ill just put you all in. he doesnt get what is really happening but he decides this is where to make a stand so he calls with 2-2. essentially nothing. i flop the queens, i felt bad, but i took down a $65 pot right there.

ok so now i have $150 in my stack off a $30 buy-in on my first night at a game where i wanted to leave an hour ago. next hand i got K-K and made it 3 to go, but no one played. two hands later, i get the old pocket 5-5. i am in the small blind. this indian kid sanjay makes it $10 to go. now this is seriously the play i have set up all night with the kid. i call the $10 easy and obviously will fold to a big bet if i dont hit. unfortunately, the flop comes out 5-6-8 two spades. i am serious here because this is important. twice in the night, i folded top pair with a medium kicker to sanjays crazy all-in bets. both of the times i was playing shit like Q-8, J-8. trouble hands. easy to fold hands though right? i mean do you want to lay $80 on your shitty 8. just wait til the next time. ok so he has seen me fold to him the top pair of 8's and now an 8 is on the board. so i casually stonily say i'm all in. it took him about 3 seconds and then he fucking calls. i mean he had about $80 into my $150 so i ask him are you serious? yup. so i turn over my set. anyone wanna guess what he turned over? ill tell you since no one would ever comment a guess.... he had AK with one spade. AK? AK? why the fuck did you just call? (this is in my head) his only hope is running spades and when 4th street is a blank its all over. since the game was short handed there were only 3 of us left at that point and the game was over.

last hand of the night pushed me to a cash out of $280 on $30 buy in. soft seat indeed. so if you all actually made it through that entire blog you should pat yourselves on the back. i know when i got in my car away from all those shark fuckers i screamed my closest impersonation of lil jon's yaaaaaaaaaaaaa. and then hit the ipod. and then drove home.

i thought about why sanjay called pretty much the rest of last nights conscious hours and most of this morning. i still dont get why he called. i put him all-in, the only way he could win is to have a hand. he must have thought i was drawing and lying or just flat out lying. truth is i just wanted to get some fucking sleep. so he also happens to work for the same place i work, and this email was in my inbox when i got into twerk today, eyes wide shut and a big fucking shit-eating grin on my face.