sXe

No you perverts, if i wanted to talk about deep-dicking i would have said SE_X. this is a different topic altogether. i am not sure how popular this movement was. it could be a southern thing, it could be a stubborn small town thing, or it may have been all over the country in every hometown in america. but does anyone remember the straight edge hardcore kids from high school?


Usually the straight edge kids had a sharpie written X on their hands with an S and E on each side of the cross. they had one mantra: no drinking, no drugs, no sex. if i didnt have these three vices i would be the most boring mother fucker on the planet. they prided themselves on not having to get fucked up to have a good time. i bet the straight edged kids were 'those guys' in college whose first frat party experience included funneling, jager bombs, and the kneel over a bowl stare at superchunk move.

one time in high school this kid justin singer threw a party. (my place was the main spot, mainly because my parents contributed to delinquency of minors) but sometimes singer's parents would go out of town and he threw a bash. lickher, brews, swimming pool out back, bbq, the best way to really have a sick time is to have a sick (parents) pad. it was philly's bday and i was trashed. schnookered. fubar. my plan was to try and find some punan or just pass out on the floor with my hand down my pants, whichever was easier to attain. the straight edge hardcore kids showed up to singers party but instead of going inside, they just waited across the street and called the cops on us. when the cops arrived, people took several courses of action. akin and shanahan hopped over a barb wire fence out back and hid in the trees somewhere. people without cars booked it to lime kiln lane trying to get away. what did shoobie (doobie) do? he sat at the table giggling at all the pretty badges in his face. as the cops raided the house, one guy came to the room i was in and shone his flashlight into each persons eyes, one at a time. when he got to me, he put it down and asked 'who is taking this kid home' to which i replied 'fuck that i am passing out here tonight' to which he said 'what, meow?' to which my buddy stu katz said 'i am taking him home, dont worry he isnt driving'. when we got outside several of the drunk leavers noticed a bunch of shit talking straight edge kids across the street. of course punches were thrown around and the cops had to break up another brawl. and this leads us to the question: why did sXe have such a good time watching other peoples good times get ruined?

i assume it stems from alcohol abusive parents whose method of discipline was making the kid choose between a 4x4, a bamboo shoot, or an electrical cord with the toaster attached. maybe it was years of repressing sexual tension for not being able to get any poon. perhaps it was their deep roots of the Crusades and taking drastic measures for no logical reason whatsoever.

who knows. i just wanted everyone to remember the sXe movement in case your plan in life is to one day make a 'hit list' ala billy madison... be sure to include a straight edge hardcore kid from your school.