Small Chronic Break
Yo, for some reason at work today i have actual work to do. Like a deadline and everything. Its super awesome-o 3000.
I hope more than just me and mcfuckstick saw the braves save that game last night... i dont know how we got out of that 9th inning, but somehow JD Drew to Giles to home got us the 3rd out and the win at the plate, vs. tied up with a man on 3rd. it was even good enough to get on #7 of ESPN top 10 baseball highlights. Goooooooo Smoltz!
So this morning was rough. 4 am sleep time no thanks to Madden 2005. 8 am alarm. snooze up unto 8:30ish. roll out in actual nice attire... khakis and a black button down. feelin good, lookin snazzy. roll to the mailbox on the corner to drop off taking lives and with honors back to netflix. step in some fresh poo. under normal circumstances this poo would have had a santa hat and sang some sweet jingles on my way to work, but mr. hanky comes from human poo... the poo i stepped in was dog poo. mother fucker. MOTHER FUCKER! dog walkers should be monitored by a new branch of the cia... enemy of the state style. after you step in poo, pretty much everyone does the following steps:
1) Inspect surface area of poo on shoe
2) Locate nearest green grass patch not poo-splattered
3) Do 'jack rabbit slim' style dance with foot trying to give the grass a nice poo schmear
4) Re-inspect for no more poo
5) Curse silently to god and the owner of said dog for fucking with your chi
Anyway, I played this one hand perfectly. PERFECTLY. like if you were watching it on ESPN, by 4th street a little Shoobie: 95% Dooshbag: 5% would have popped up next to our hands. But, as we all know, any idiot can take a seat and not even realize they shouldnt have been in the hand once the money was on the table.
100/200 blinds. i am in last position. pre-flop, no raises, 5 people in the hand. $1000 pot.
i have a straight flush draw, outside straight draw, and flush draw. a guy bets $500 and everyone folds to me. i call. pot size: $2000.
4th street comes:
mmm, nutter. i just made my big flush. the nuts. and guess what? this mother fucker sees flush on the board and bets $1500. i of course raise....and i raise big. raise $5000. he pretty quickly calls. this pot size went from $2000 to $15,000 in no time. i was eager to get paid off and get this chump outta here.
so the board is:
i guess you know where this leads... this fucking chump bet $500 on his 5x9x after the flop. then when he got two pair, he bet big, got raised three times his bet, and still called with a flush and straight on the board. he had exactly four outs and the worst part is, he was completely oblivious to this fact. i honestly dont think i could have played it any differently to get him out before the river. i kinda know how all the pros feel when someone you know is: a shittier player, shouldnt have bet middle pair, shouldnt have called any raises, and then they chase down unbelievably earth-defying odds to win the biggest pot of the night and become chip leader while simultaneously taking you down to $1000, barely enough scratch to call the blinds. i felt revolted.
whatever, that place was dead anyway. blogger, out!