Monday, April 11, 2005

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Toofs, Nucka

**add-on from today**: I realized i left out one major thing... i have a conspiracy theory that 75% of dentists have the bald but hair around the edges look. i know its random, but i am pretty sure its accurate. let me know if your dentist/ortho/etc dude growing up or today had this:


like this stud muffin here....


or here, here, here, here, and here.

after google image searching, i have come up with a new question. why does the american sign language for 'dentist' look like a deep throat blow job?
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So after the depression in the 20s, many of the jewish fathers raised their children to become college educated, try and go for a PhD or dentist or some other big money salary pullin job so they could hook themselves a jersey girl and export them back to the south to pursue family goals. my pops was one of these little kids and he became a dentist. as a result i have straight toofs because braces and maintenance and all that shit was free free free. one time i tried to coax my dad into lending me a nitrous tank. fucking parents setting a good example and shit. he said no!

anyway, i kinda have a mild obsession with toofs now. if a girl doesnt have straight nice teeth its tough to even attempt to hook up with them. i usually have to close my eyes or put a brown bag over their head. now isnt that gentlemanly behavior. anyway, lets talk toofs for a little bit hyea.

adult braces are unfortunately the most hideous thing on the planet. if youre older than 16 and you have braces, something is just fucked up about your toofs. fuggedaboutit.

i still use a standard reach toothbrush, but jonny mcpot uses an automatic one. i use a normal razor and he rocks the chin flobee. why do i feel like dentists got it right the first time with the standard brush and a battery powered one is a liiiittle too high tech for toof cleaning? people with automatics, what is the fucking deal there?

yall wanna floss with us? some people are OCD about flossing, why is that. the bathroom at work is gross enough with its green tiles, foot pedal stalls, government bleach smell, dudes dookie from 5 minutes ago.... why the fuck would you ever expose your teeth to these conditions and floss in the midst of it all.

why do black dudes still rock the gold teeth. no one wants to read 'playa' on the first row of your toofs.... we get it, you have money and bitches. your outfit spells it all out for us.

what is the word for fear of dentists? and why do sooo many people have it.

as much as i love straight teeth, i kinda have a thing for snaggle toothed women. i have no idea why, but i feel like i am the only person on the planet who thinks jewel is actually hotter because of the snaggle tooth. if she didnt have it she would be a 7 instead of an 8. so without further ado, pictures of the hottest snaggle toofed girl ever.




4 Comments:

At 4/12/2005 9:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shibuya, I had no idea you looked just like Myron. Have you ever put on a fake mustache?
-ash

 
At 4/12/2005 1:26 PM, Blogger achoo said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 4/12/2005 1:27 PM, Blogger achoo said...

Can't believe you threw the Mickey up on the blogspot. Awesome, seeing him reminded me that I need to get my own toofs in order, it's been about six months...

Ladies, toofs and grammar better be in order if you want to stand a chance with Shoobie.

 
At 4/13/2005 9:58 AM, Blogger cmdrslappy said...

dr. mickey!

he has seen my toofs up close and personal. he'd prolly be ashamed of me nowadays, as i let the dentisting go for a while. but i'm fixing it, i'm fixing it, i swear dr. mickey!

 

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