Friday, April 08, 2005

Bookmark this Blog!

Cult Movies

Every Friday, down the street from me, a freakfest shows up for their daily consumption of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Apparently at midnight people turn into complete transvestites and go to the Lefont Plaza movie theater off ponce to check out this horrible cult flick. i remember when i was a little kid, maybe 10, and one of my camp counselors decided that there was nothing cooler for a bunch of little curlers to be exposed to than the rocky horror movie. i mean were on a bus ride for 10 hours and this tubby bitch puts in a movie with freaks dragging across the screen. how about aladdin? or E.T.? just something more normal for a child to be watching. i guess the good news is that the guy forced me to start criticizing movies, which i will do to this day.

according to entertainment weekly, the Top 50ish Cult Movies.....

#54 - The Princess Bride
uh oh, i start off with a real zinger. ladies, i know you love this film. along with dirty dancing it sits high atop your 'top 3' list despite the fact that this movie sucks big ass balls. andre the giant is probably the best actor in the film. oh ya and that guy who did Robin Hood: Men in Tights. good follow up work. and of course this sloppy mug.

#51 - Monty Python and the Holy Grail
notice that neither of these alleged cult flicks cracked the top 50. british humor is officially lost on me. i have tried about 5 times in my life to watch any part of this movie. i would say i fall asleep within the first sketch 4 out of 5 of those times. People who quote this movie sound even stupider than the real actors. monty python can get bent.

#49 - Friday
like i could ever say any bad shit about the best ice cube production ever. i just want people to recognize that black flicks dont get enough love. plus thank god its friday. i aint got shit to do.

#42 - Rushmore
Wes Anderson has not made a bad movie to date. If you havent seen this flick just head straight to the video sto, do not pass go. through a buddy i also checked out bottle rocket, which was funny dank. plus tenenbaums and life aquatic. cant go wrong with a wes anderson flick.

#36 - Showgirls
I saw the uncut version of this flick when it came out. hell i had to, it involved jesse spano stripping and fucking guys horizontally in swimming pools. plus her costar, gina gershon, is so fucking hot. i have seen her live in person! at a swanky LA party. this movie is full of horrible one liners and catchy cuthroat strippers who act witty and bitchy all at the same time. best viewed with mute button, warm sock close by.

#34 - The Big Lebowski
can i even say words that could possibly sum up how awesome this flick is? i think a good test for quality of cult flick is to see how many times you could watch it back to back. i could definitely watch the dude 3 times a week. i even started boozing on white russians until i realized it wasnt worth 5 bucks a pop. shut the fuck up donnie.

#29 - Clerks
Kevin Smith is probably one of my top 3 directors. this movie is a classic and can also be viewed askew at least 3 times a week. the lines are funny as shit. jay is like my secret soul star or whatever the fuck it is when youre exactly like someone. mad shout outs to randall too.

#28 - The Wiz
Diana Ross and Michael Jackson in an inner city adaptation of the wizard of oz. i was in 7th grade and our music teacher made us watch this horrible, horrible musical wreck of a movie. i mean to think that more people follow the wiz than kevin smith really speaks volumes of the crappy taste people have in movies. and now, more freaky pictures.

#25 - Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
now i might be the only one on earth to admit this... but the willy wonka movie cannot possibly be viewed more than once in a decade. now before you go getting all hot and bothered, when i was a little kid this movie was great. i even read roald dahl's OTHER books. the problem is, dahl hates this movie because the director ripped apart his book and re wrote tons of shit. lame!

#21 - Pee Wees Big Adventure
classic flick, one of the first ones we had recorded on VHS. (remember those?) i still love the scene where he dances to tequila on the bar. fucking puffer.

#17 - Dazed and Confused
classic. i can watch this any time someone mentions it. just an all around awesome flick. good tunes. good story. good actors before they were actors.

#10 - The Shawshank Redemption
this is a cult film? how? i mean its good but who is dressing up like andy dufrane and crawling through 8 miles of shit.

#8 - Scarface
classic pacino.

#2 - Rocky Horror
nuff said.

#1 - This is Spinal Tap


At 4/08/2005 11:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Props to Viv Savage

At 4/09/2005 1:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

if you can't get the holy grail..try monty's life of brian..the python's are bloodly arse kicking


Post a Comment

<< Home