Tuesday, March 15, 2005

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Hypothetical Extremes

(this may or may not happen in any 'guys night' conversation when hypotheticals start to get sprung)

yo dude, do you dare me to eat a spoonful of this ketchup for a dollar? no. you dont dare me to swallow a spoonful of ketchup for a dollar? nope. how bout for free? alright fine screevy, do whatcha gotta do. mmmmyum.

from the classic Todd Phillips directed, ska budnick inspired flick Road Trip:
"It's not cheating if you spread peanut butter on your balls and let your dog lick it off... cause it's YOUR dog."

or the even more classic:
What would you do if you had a million dollars? I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man. That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time? Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money. Well, not all chicks. Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do. Good point.

hey pubes, i am about to shit all over this blackjack table. <dealer: sir there will be no shitting on the table> how much do you guys bet ill shit on the table?

wild, if you killed a deputy, a judge, a dea agent, and jacked 2 cars?!? what would you do? i dunno but i wouldnt stay 20 minutes outside the city. dude if i did all that shit i would definitely drive that night straight to fucking mexico. or canada (always on the brain: mary jane). do you know how many sketchy ways there are to get into canada? fuck canada. hehe.

dude ask him the question. alright fine. loee, if someone came up here right now and with a briefcase of unlimited cash, right to the door, COD (cash on delivery, for you rich people) and all you had to do was suck his dick, whats the lowest amount it would have to be?
most men answer at least one million dollars or above to that last question. i know for a fact that me and yan both answered over a million....and i'm not even the homophobe. its not even about the gay thing, although i guess it kinda is.

even this guy would suck dick for one miiiillion dollars. damn how old is that fucking joke.

its really a question of how big of a whore are you? how much are you willing to lay down your god given rights: to say you eat only pussy OR a shot in the mouth and some quick cash. its a story of short money folks. and in this short money world, my man loee would suck a guys dick for $10,000. when me and yan scream at the same time "10,000 dollars!!!?".....

he lowered it to 5.

i hate to do this but, the little devil on my shoulder once again talked me into it. the angel, or your conscience, as some people like to call it, only told me to smudge it so that everyone still knew who it was who knows the kid and no one else could recognize him.



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