Friday, March 04, 2005

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Funky Cold Medina

Well its friday, march 4, and i pray that when i go to the atm today, it is payday friday. i guess i could just check past blogs but its almost more fun to see all those digits on the bank receipt. In other news, March Madness will officially kickoff this weekend with some college hoops teams playing their final regular season games. this is basically the last ditch effort to be seeded nicely for conference playoffs, not to mention bubble teams trying to win as many games as possible. because when it all boils down to it, if you dont get an invite to the big dance, your whole season doesnt matter.

I feel like all my teams are really good. real contenders in all the realms of sports. unfortunately, they just dont have the extra umph to really crack a championship out. Like the Atlanta Braves, who have gone 13 seasons in a row as NL south champs. only won the world series once. Like the Atlanta Falcons, who smoked their playoff round opponent and then blew it anyway to Philly. And the Louisville Cards football squad, who won their bowl game but wont even get a shot at a national championship until next year. And finally, we arrive at the current sport, Louisville Cards basketball. Last night, senior night, Larry O'Bannon TORCHED Charlotte making 5-9 three pointers, 6-7 2 pointers, 6-6 free throws, 2 steals, and 4 rebounds. Taquan Dean who has mono was 6-11 threeballs, 2-2 2 pointers, 5-6 free throws, and 3 rebounds. Ellis Myles was 2 rebounds shy of a triple double, gaining 10 points 10 assists and 8 rebounds. Just keep it flowing into March, get a 3 seed, and smoke everyone.

Next on the agenda: poker hands. so i dont care who reads this and who skips, i just figure i would show you how much fucking money i make. two hands really stood out for me last night. here is hand 1:

so its texas hold em. QQ is a 4:1 favorite over T9 suited apparently. When the flop comes and i catch my set, i am feeling pretty confident. I bet the max, the other guy hesitates then calls. I had been agressive all night so i knew any hesitations were of course drawing hands. When the turn came, i knew my man over there had picked up a flush. The reason i bet the max is because you have to remember, these kids are timid with their money. even though he had a flush he was hesitant. the river could not have hooked me up more. i studied his face for awhile, then bet the max. he reluctantly called into the nuts. Look how much difference there is between when i had a made hand on the flop, then he had a made hand on the turn, back to 100% my way. send em!

next hand was Omaha Hi-Lo 3-6. its dealt like texas, except you get 4 cards in your hand. you HAVE to use 2 cards, so if 6789 hit the board, and you have a ten, its not a straight. you have to use two cards from your hand...get it? Basically half the pot goes to the high hand, straights, flushes, full houses, etc. The other half goes to the shittiest hand. 6-4-3-2-A. 7-5-4-2-A. Where you have the shittiest cards and still cant make a high hand. In this particular example it doesnt matter, but:

i raised pre-flop to get the suckers out. someone had bet a dollar so i raised 3. $4 to call. three callers. $15 in the pot. The reason i raised is because if a low doesnt fall (which it didnt) then my hand will probably be extremely helped by anything that hits the board. sure enough, i had the nut full house right away. the lesson here is that i got paid off the whole way. most people would check their boat hoping someone else will bet. instead i bet to find out who was trying to catch. my nemesis, who is also a good friend (he just beats me on full houses all the time) was calling me the whole way. i knew he was chasing the flush too, probably had straight outs... when the turn came up diamond, i knew i had him trapped and he would pay me off. bet $6. call. bet $6. call. NUTS! fuck! sorry bra.

so that was my poker night, overall even. katz was juiced up at least 180 before dropping down to a reasonable 100.

last but not least, hodgepodge:

speaking of poker games, i am officially 2 degrees of separation from this game: video.

-Here are some things that are really just peeving me off right now. I dont let things get to me but sometimes shit just has to be said.
slow parking-garage drivers. i know the sign posted says please drive 7 mph. but my car doesnt even know what 7 is. it starts at 10 and when youre trying to get to work in the morning, maybe yours should read at least 15 too.
people who dont make eye contact. just a sign of weakness people.
people who don’t look before they walk into elevators. Hi...i need to get out. please get the fuck out of my way so you can get on.
people who don’t say thank you when you hold the door for them. fucking awful manners.
people who microwave their disgusting food at work. i hate when i am hungry and walking towards lunch and/or cig break and someones artichoke heart tuna casserole has been nuked nearby and my nose flares up like it wants to release the instantaneous puke building up in the back of my throat. its just not cool to cook nasty smell food at work people.

My mail lady has no idea how happy i am when she comes to my house. she is a 50ish year old black lady and she walks up to all the boxes by the door, there arent mailboxes at the driveway in my hood. sometimes i am there at lunch and she drops 6 little red envelopes in my hand and makes all my sadness go away. if i am a jew do i still get her a christmas gift? does anyone do that anymore?

They should release a CD called: Jewish Camp Songs MegaHits 2005. It would include all the classics like 'leaving on a jet plane' and 'circle game', as well as a plethora of other campfire songs. maybe it could even be like a 4-disc set, with israeli dance songs that we had to do back in camp. I guarantee you this CD would sell like hotcakes.

Last but not least... i heart TILT. threesome with your nemesis's daughter and a dirty dirty whore? could life be any more sweeet.


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