My Two Front Teeth

Happy Hannukka everybody! Your local atlien jew reporting in for what looks to be one hell of a miserable holiday season. I guess the good news is we wont be murdering any christian children this year and drinking their blood for our ceremonies.... our holidays are almost two weeks apart.


The misery stems from the fact that i am 24 and all my little cousins get the most badass gifts while i am stuck with the old sweater and a ball of yarn to play with. My oldest 1st cousin on my dads side is 13 (stay away you sick fucks) and she is the biggest fucking brat.... what 13 year old needs a portable dvd player with a 10" widescreen? i bet goliath is turning over in his grave after laying down to a little jewish guy.... what have we become.

Anyway, i have no fucking clue what that shit just was. The point is, if this hannukka was a free-for-all, here is what i would want.