Friday, July 23, 2004

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The King of Late Night

I bet when you first see that title, you might think i am going to talk about conan vs. letterman and why conan is ridiculously more funny in an infinite amount of ways. Or maybe you think the king of late night is some sexual deviance story about a lonely jewish boy who disappears late night to eek out some play. But no my friends, the king of late night is related to food.... damn good food. So good that as long as you have 2 bucks and a sober d, you are guaranteed a one way trip to heaven. thats right, i am talking about the wonder that is Waffle House.

In louisville, there are hardly any of these meccas of greasy nastiness. Dennys is the spot. Theres the dennys off breckenridge lane which was good for late night food after a crappy movie. then theres the more upscale one out by chiu and mcalister where they looooove black people. waffle houses are in the south end (i believe) and i can honestly say that before georgia, i had never been to one.

Cut to sophomore year. Now I have a car in atl and can explore at my whim. Of course i was stuck in the bubble, so it took someone else to utter the words: off campus. but asher or katz were always down for that 3 am waffle house run. the best part about atlanta is not just the plethora of waffle house chains to choose from, its the environment that each individual waffle house provides that surpasses any other late night eating station.

The one off Cheshire Bridge Road-- for those of you who dont live here, cheshire bridge is home to the finest strip of sleazy sex clubs (gay, straight, beastial) in atlanta. there are head shops, 4 strip clubs, taco cabana, and of course what corner wouldnt be complete without a waho. this locale attracts mainly gay or crossdressing patrons, who make loud obnoxious scenes and are definitely the most scary and yet most entertaining to watch. ways to fit in: wear leather, wear chains, dye your hair punk colors, kiss the other guys youre with.

The one off Sydney Marcus-- this one is kinda lame, in the middle of a strip mall. But, one time katz and i were there and this dude who kinda looked homeless but probably wasnt, was wearing one of those 70s jackets with the patches on the elbows, wrinkled pants, no socks, no shoes. that rule does not apply to waho, EVERYONE gets served there.

The one off Buford Highway-- as mentioned before, buford highway is the base of operations for sergios tanning salon. many many mexicanos. also close by is the pink pony, so this place gets some spillover from sleazy stripclub men who after a long night of just looking at boobies and vajines decide that nothing would hit the spot more than some hash browns scattered smothered and covered. This is the closest waho to emory, but attracts the most diverse crowd.

I believe the nastiest thing i have ever been witness to at waho is when nick johnson got hungry there. back in his pre-"jesus rescues all" stoner drunken buffoon days, this kid looooved waho. he loves bbq and collards, but he loves waho even more. johnson is the only kid i have ever known EVER to order the t-bone steak and eggs from waho. i mean, it aint exactly ruths chris here...we are talking about grade C- meat, a stick of butter, 2 eggs, toast, and hashbrowns. Despite these heart-stoppers, he didnt hesitate to scream HOOOT DAAAMN! afterwards.

I really havent been to waffle house since i graduated.... i guess i dont really have a sober driver and drunkin donuts is a good substitute. But anytime a northerner came to emory and was oblivious to this cultural phenomenon, it was always fun to induct them into the waho club. you even get a FREE paper hat with your first visit.

misty and reba will smother, cover, and dice you

Have a great fucking weekend!


At 7/23/2004 2:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I once saw Johnson spend over $10 at waffle house...didnt think that was possible. t bone, eggs, double order hashbrowns and some horrible cherry sprite mixture.
I havent been in a while either... damn you krystal!
finally got me to post - jeremy

At 7/23/2004 4:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I once saw a drunken carnie-esque midget in a bikini eat 10 waffles, 4 orders of hash browns, and 5 not so over easy eggs...not to mention he drank 6 cups of coffee afterwards. The only thing scarier than that is the fact that I somehow managed to go home with him later...ok so not really, but waho is awesome, and I had NO idea about the paper hat! I was hosed.


At 1/04/2006 12:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...



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