Top 10 Reasons Star Wars SUCKS!
10. Harrison Ford and George Lucas sodomized each other during most of their time working together. hey these things happen in hollywood... and when you work closely with such a godsend as george lucas, fires you didnt know you had inside start to burn. i just cant figure out which 'harrison ford' lucas loves more: cowboy hat and whip or man-blouse and laser pointer.
9. George Lucas is the touch of death for actors. Mark Hammil has been downgraded from hero of the greatest intergalactic battle to voice over talent for Crash Bandicoot and the PowerPuff Girls. His most notable movie appearance AFTER star wars was the character Cock-Knocker on Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. And this appearance was only due to the fact that kevin smith could get his idol in a flick for a cheap price... recognizing how washed up he is. Jake Lloyd who played little ani has yet to appear in a movie that wasnt released straight to dvd or received over 2 stars.
8. Imagining Mark Hamill posting Carrie Fisher up against the bedpost from behind and whispering into her ear:
Luke: damn baby you have the sweetest, wettest, most banging pus---'
c3po: (from outside intercom) uh...sir....we seem to have a problem.
Luke: ahhh c3po come back in like half an hour!
c3po: uh... sir.... im afraid it cant wait for that. you see, princess leah....is your sister.
Luke: but i was just about to use the force!
7. Spaceballs captured more laughs and entertainment in its 96 minute run time than the entire 20 hour waste of time and millions of spacebucks spent on the Star Wars series. with classic lines like 'Raspberry. There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry.... Lone Star!' and 'May the Schwartz be with you', this movie makes my classics list, not the star wars.
6. Do 8 year old boys take showers with George Lucas at the Skywalker Ranch too? or is that strictly an MJ Neverland thing.
5. This was just too weird to pass up.
4. Normal people fantasize about teri hatcher, kim basinger, cindy crawford (whatever happened to her?), tiffani amber-thiessen. star wars fanatics fantasize about how they would replace a 400 pound blob of shit and chain carrie fisher up to their racecar bunkbeds.
3. JarJar Binks is definitely the most unpopular digitzed character of all times. more than barney. more than chimpokomon. more than popples. really really bad.
2. Another Death Star?! are you fucking joking? please write in something a little more controversial and creative than a bigger replica of the same ship.
and the number one reason STAR WARS SUCKS?....
1. The FreakFest fanbase surrounding the whole star wars phenomenon. The people who will surf across this page and hopefully trash the shit out of me for mocking their silly life choices. Star Wars obsessed people....hear me! WAKE UP. ITS A MONEY MAKING SCHEME. george lucas doesnt give a fuck about you, why do you give such a fuck about him?
guys, quit playing with your swords and use your dicks for christs sake!
this post is a joke
ADDED ON 5/18/05
QUIT GOOGLING STAR WARS SUCKS! you fucking dorks. star wars 'day of the show' pics are coming soon.