Wednesday, May 25, 2005

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Fashion Consulting 301: The Jeans

In other news, a recent study performed by the shoobiedoobie foundation for fashion faux pas, found an alarming correlation between the length of the rolled jeans and the level of bitchiness in the consumer. back in the late 80s/early 90s people were laid back and very chill. most of this was originally thought to be due to crappy tunes and chlorofluorocarbons filling the air. (hairspray for you idiots) but the foundation for all that is heady has experienced a new hypothesis that has yet to be proven false.

the late 80s/early 90s jeans style. remember when you would throw on your tapered jeans and sit on the bed and take the bottom of your cuff and fold it tight so there was hardly any air down there. then you roll it as tight as you possibly can two or three times. ya that was cool. you would also have to redo it several times throughout the day.

in high school (late 90s) people were doing all kinds of shit. first off denim took a serious backseat to cords and cargos and all that stuff. but people who did rock the jeans wanted them to look grunge as hell so they would slice up the right and left side so they would go over the tongue of your shoe. the more worn out the better. the looser the better. baggy jeans came into style and tightrolling was thankfully eliminated from the scene.

in college (early 2000s) everyone was wearing big baggy jeans or diesel jeans. some people had even started this trend of wearing jeans with the butt part "pre-worn down" so it looks like you really worked your shit out. also some girls started wearing those jeans with no pockets in the back, just random trim around the edges. my friends and i call those momma pants...for good reason. dark jeans were the new stonewashed jeans.

previously, we released reports regarding capris pants. thank you for heeding our advice, i have noticed a decline in this awful trend. but dont think that disguising your jeans as capris pants will win you any favors. the only thing worse than capris pants would be jeans with a huge roll at the bottom.

this chick is pretty bitchy, but i have seen rolls twice that size!

the bigger your roll the jappier you are. but if you have a tummy like this do whatever the fuck you want

if you throw uggs into the mix we have a serious problem.


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