Friday, July 16, 2004

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Movie Review for 07/16/04

Super Size Me--
This movie is about a fit, normal, health-conscious guy who embarks on one of the most grueling and vile quests... to find out how shitty McDonalds food really is. Yo, we all eat this crap... i prefer wendys or arbys but thats because they have dank baked potatoes and good sauces to throw in there. Obviously eating McDonalds for a month straight will fuck your shit up, but if you go see this movie i bet you will think twice about ever pulling a late night drive-thru move again. fun facts: i used to work at dairy queen, the only safe thing to eat is ice cream there. sometimes the cook would grill the top half of 15 burgers and leave it sitting there for 30-45 minutes until someone ordered and they could cook it the rest of the way through. fucking gross.

Fahrenheit 9/11--
Ahh michael moore. everyone has their take on this assclown, i personally think he is the worst kind of documentary filmmaker because he splices and cuts clips however he wants his point portrayed and does not give any logical solution to the questions he proposes. and yet i still say this movie is definitely worth seeing... it could be half-truths, yes, but i think the main facts from this movie will hold up as the real truth is revealed (if ever). the bush family, who has ties to the texas oil industry, has business partners with Osama's family. bush has appointed close friends to his cabinet to secure the billions of dollars this industry is worth to the arabs and the americans. bush is trigger happy and pre-emptively struck Iraq with no definite knowledge of a Saddam-led terrorist threat to america. i also like how he does not bag on the soldiers for doing their jobs, he shows them in a positive light, perhaps even victim to Bush's agenda. dont go to this flick high, its a good waste of gods gift to man.

Spider-Man 2 --
Definitely go see this one hi. Episode 2 features Doc-Oct and his 6 new robot arms. The movie definitely has some cheesy, comic book dialogue.... conversations between Peter and Aunt May are pretty lame, not really sure why she didnt get it in the first episode with the carjacked uncle. But, special effects are really good, action/fight scenes look badass, Mary Jane looks hot as hell. If you liked one youll like two. I have no idea why this movie was at the top of the box office for so long, but apparently it happens with all comic book movies so why should this be any different. and now, a sexy picture of the lady.

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story --
Vince Vaughn, Christine Taylor, Ben Stiller, and of course guest cameos (chuck norris and david hasselhoff in the same flick!) by all their mutual friends. I think this movie was pretty funny, vince vaughn's typecast characters are still entertaining, and having christine taylor as "cleanup" on your dodgeball team obviously cant hurt things. Unfortunately this movie is not even in the same realm of funny as zoolander and old school. Maybe on round 3, these guys will get it working again... You're going down like a sweet muffin!

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy --
Will Ferrell is one of the funniest men alive, which is why this movie shoulda coulda woulda been really good. Unfortunately, the script kinda falls flat and although there are some good little one liners that will be repeated an exorbitant amount of times every night out for the rest of the summer, i would have almost rather waited for the dvd to roll out instead. Christina Applegate is so fucking hot. hot hot hot. Steve Carell from the Daily Show was an unexpected co-star whose comic genius equals that of ferrell in this movie. the higher you are, the funnier this is. guest cameos include ben stiller, vince vaughn, and a very funny jack black dropkicking animals scene. 

Have a good weekend, i am going to be one old mother fucker soon. Perhaps i will soon have my quarter life crisis. peace, niggars.


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