Tuesday, July 06, 2004

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Germans Love David Hasselhoff

Hello all you bloggerjockers waiting for words of my weekend. Deephs, there will be no long drawn out punking stories. Dudes, there will be no details. July 4th weekend? clipping nugs, braves day game 10-4 atl, decatur fireworks, hot little jewish girls from mctyeire, top shelf liquor parties, two proud american soldiers, lots of sex (not all me), drunk walks home, suntan, recovery, and now blog.

Why in the fuck do Germans love david hasselhoff. everyone says it, but does anyone know the answer? Check this out: Top 5 answers by girls
Why do Germans love David Hasselhoff?

1) “No one knows the answer to this question. It's one of the more unsettling mysteries about the world we live in.”
2) “Do they? Interesting, very interesting!”
3) “Look at his last name, it's as German as Wiener Schnitzel.”
4) “3 things: pecks, Bulge, Talking Car.”
5) “Because that guy on SNL used to say so.”


That guy on SNL is the one and only Norm McDonald. His Weekend Update was the first to coin the now popular phrase. Here is some Hasselhoff background:
Despite his enormous success in television, Hasselhoff's childhood dream of a recording career had, by the late 1980's, yet to be fulfilled. However, that all changed when he recorded "Looking for Freedom," just at the end of the Cold War. The song quickly became an anthem for the German people and it raced to the number one spot on the German charts where it remained for eight consecutive weeks in 1989.

The album, Looking for Freedom, hit the top of the German charts as well, staying there for three months. It went gold and triple platinum in Europe while on its way to becoming Germany's number one selling album of the year. Hasselhoff was named "Most Popular and Best Selling Artist of the Year" in Germany.

For some reason, and I am guessing its because we don't support goobers in this country, Hasselhoff is just way more popular in Euro...specifically Austria and Germany. However, there have been some Americans who take an interest in Hasselhoff's stunning physique and the fact that "No other man has done so much for big chest hair and smooth chatup lines."

One pop culture icon has decided to team up with the other. Bringing the streets of Compton and gangstas of the streetz to his pad in paradise, Hasselhoff and Ice-T are actually neighbors out in cali. Ice-T wants to produce a hasselhoff rap album. Hmm, good combo...i can definitely see this being a huge hit. Life is tough on the dirty sets of Baywatch and Knight Rider.

Not even Hasselhoff's daughters can stand their own father:
Hasselhoff has just brought out a compilation of oldies called David Hasselhoff Sings America, but says daughters, Taylor, 13, and Hayley, 11, hate his music.
"My daughters tell me to switch off my music when I play them my songs," he told German magazine Gala, "and they change the channel whenever Knight Rider comes on. It's embarrassing for them to watch their father in tight jeans and a stupid hairdo chasing gangsters on TV."

I wouldnt say embarassing so much as "throw up a little bit in my throat" downright revolting. What can we as Americans do to rid ourselves of the Hasselhoff phenomenon? I propose that we kill two birds with one stone. Scratch the Ice-T thing. Lets think of someone else who was really popular in the 80s during the Knight Rider era who would be perfect for a worldwide end-your-careers-and-live-out-your-days-in-germany tour?



(good find eh? more pics)

5 Comments:

At 7/06/2004 12:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only person in McTyeire in July is Deritha, our retarded cleaning lady. Way to go scoring that one, homo.

 
At 7/06/2004 12:41 PM, Blogger shoobie said...

Asher J. Levine
Dont post anonymously. Dont blow up words like homo, homo. Why is your hosting service disney.com? The cleaning ladys name was Teretha and she was wonderful. The Mctizzy lady i was talking about was nicole ho-llander. and she still looks good. jackass.

 
At 7/06/2004 1:24 PM, Blogger Ash said...

Way to go scoring Nicole Hollander. I never thought she was that cute, but props for cracking such a jappy yatch. Was her ass cold?

 
At 11/28/2008 11:28 AM, Anonymous timbo said...

Being a german myself, i can tell you i don't know anyone who loves (let alone likes) D. Hasselhoff. In fact i know quite a few who'd rather kiss a dead frog than see or hear anything of him.
I praise every single day on earth on which i don't hear or see him.

 
At 7/12/2009 2:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, David Hasselhoff is famous in germany because he sang his song Looking for freedom, on top of the Berlin wall right before/as it was falling down in 1989, which of course, was kind of a big deal. And he was one of the only artists to do that..and its a pretty funny youtube video as well.
So thats your answer! :)

 

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