A Southern Redneck in trouble with Twins
I caant dooit kaptahn, I doont remembah a thing.
So I have a true confession. Heres the gist. This is taken from my memory so details tend to be hazy.
The last time I was up in NYC me and my boy katz stayed with asher. he lived on 56th and lex. Katz and I are bouncing around late night one night and we go to this little back door club around midnight. So we're vibing right. black chicks are hitting on me as usual. katz is eyeing some little jewish yatch but he knows she aint fuckin and katz fucks so this little chicken isnt gonna be around for much longer. my chick is british and the only problem with her is she is way too into me to be normal. not saying its hard to be way into me... its just, we just fucking met bitch. i dont know you. and i'm in nyc, so sketch factor is just implied. jewish girl hovers over her drink and gabs about how bitchy her mom is and how she talks to her every day, sometimes 4-5 times a day, even though they hate each other. all katz hears is blah blah blah, bl blah blah blah. I give what is known as the international sign for: lets do a lap. aww im sorry can you hang on one second, i have to go to the bathroom. see when girls say they are going to the bathroom, they go in there and talk to each other about the dudes they are with and what they should do. when guys say that shit, they are going to do a lap. to see the other action at the place instead of keeping themselves locked down at one specific vector, victor.
peace ladies. katz, lets see what else we got goin on in hea. dude. stop. bro. what? bro. what?? i swear to god, i think i see mary kate and ashley over there. where? there. woah. ya. Sure enough, Mary Kate, Ashley, and their entourage of bodyguards were at this little shit cafe getting pounded on booze, laughing, gigling, like two little fucking bunny rabbits ready to be devoured and fanged by me and jonny mcpot here.
(move your mouse over this image)
(you can tell them apart by their cute little eyes)
So I am pretty cocked and against better judgement I go to the jukebox to think of a kick ass tune I can dance to with Mary Kate. I think she is cuter, mainly because she is a little more emaciated than the other one. oops, i guess i should be more sensitive to her needs. (i know my boy dwellis would scrub the milk off with a moustache ride)
So anyway, what better artist than the great
And with that, I tap katz on the shoulder, bringing him back from his drueling over ashley's little mini skirt, give him a head nod and were off for the door. when we get out in the street, i pull out the cigs, whip 2 out, hand one to him, and light us up. why in the FUCK did we leave that bar shuster? dude, like the tao of steve says, "Be desireless. Be excellent. Be gone." After a few puffs katz lets it sink in and goes, booyakasha respect. Lets go get some of that Ray's Pizza dude.