Monday, July 12, 2004

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Weekend Summary

Every Monday I get in here and feel like peter from office space... spacing out for a good hour, trying to collect my thoughts, wandering around on the internet looking for funny shit to talk about. If i find something later, maybe I will post 2...for right now, let me just do some Hodgepodge.

By now I am sure you all have heard of this dude Ken Jennings who is on a 29-day tear of Jeopardy! He is getting close to a cool million in prize winnings. This guy doesnt just eek out the wins-- most of the games I have seen he tags em, bags em, skins em, and sends them home with cab fare. My question is, can the producers of Jeopardy not find one guy or girl in this entire country who is not smarter than fucking Ken Jennings. My 2nd question, conspiracy theory style, is do they really want to? ps--Chiu was on Jeopardy in middle school and he did real well, his only problem was the fact that he had no balls. (no guff, g)

Went to the Clermont Lounge again this weekend. This time I was not with the ladies, i was with jonny mcfuckstick and his buddy from prudential, nascar john. so katz was decidedly anti-dancing...more DIRECTLY: anti-even-trying-to-shake-his-ass-with-hot-girls. But as usual, the seedy claremont was a good time had by all. the "new guy", ya know the one who has heard all about the claremont but hasnt been inside its doors, will not shut the fuck up about how he is getting married and he keeps looking at hot girls and he wants ass still, etc, etc. There is one fine truth in this world: to a man who needs affirmation that he should stick with his current cute fiancee, there is no place greater to gain those feelings than the Clermont Lounge. One look at the strippers there makes me want to go home and fuck my wife. so the test tube shot lady comes yaaallll wanna shot? no thanks, we have drinks coming. oh come on, a shot fer eachuya. no no, its ok. not even between my titties? (oh my god lady.... no!, not even between your titties)

Something really amazing happened in this town over the weekend, but i bet 5% of the atliens even know about it. The problem with Atlanta is they have great fucking sports and no one gives a shit about them. I mean they do, but they dont. They care, but there is definitely apathy in the air. This weekend, the Braves played the phillies (#1 NL East) up north and were only two games back after sweeping the Expos in their series. Friday the braves blew a 6-2 lead to eventually lose it in extra innings. saturday and sunday, the braves rolled and saved 2 games respectively to take down the leader in the NL east. Before this weekend, the braves were tied for 3rd with the mets. After this weekend, the Braves are in 2nd place and have won 8 of their last 10 games. This is the 13th year in a row that the braves have had a winning season up to the mid-point, the all star game. Look for them to continue to roll to the top and keep smoking teams.

Mexicans are running rampant in this town. Im not sure if thats a good thing :) I think its ok... it comes with good and bad. The bad news is, they probably account for 2 of 3 of my car stereos getting stolen. The good news is, they are getting jobs at the finest burrito joints in town. I love that in atlanta, qdoba is run by three mexicans who dont speak a fucking lick of ingles. in louisville, qdoba is run by a bunch of white middle-class high school kids who dont know the first fucking thing about wrapping a burrito. same with kroger. its sweet. speaking of mexicans, i saw sergio this weekend when i was sober and pool crashing with the deephs. he is not a figment of my imagination, sergio really does exist.

outtie belly buttons occur totally by chance. there has never been a proven reason for outties, and they account for about 10% of the population. Basically outties are just scar tissue that never really fell off after the umbilical cord was cut. outtie belly buttons can be pierced, but only by the best...most will become infected and not work out. plastic surgery is safe and people can get their outties taken care of at any time. i have never hooked up with an "outtie" and i hope to never hook up with one in the future.

granberry. its not cool to request a shoutout. especially on another dudes blog. thanks for the insight and critiques this weekend. i am just prodding you so that you will respond.

Have a wonderful case of the mondays.


At 7/12/2004 10:59 AM, Blogger megan pistachio said...

what about in-betweenies? my belly button does not poke out, nor is it the nasty cavern of blackness like a true innie. It looks sorta like a little butt in there. I'm special.

At 7/12/2004 12:47 PM, Blogger cmdrslappy said...

dude, i like ken, but i want him to lose. just give the other folks a chance and shit, you know?


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