Thursday, June 17, 2004

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Things Guys Hate But Can't Ever Say

Have you ever noticed that no matter how perfect a relationship you have with a girl is, at the drop of a hat you can say one wrong thing and totally fuck yourself over. I know it has happened to any guy... its like you dont want to be watching every thing you say, but some things guys say just do not sit well with girls.

Perhaps the greatest example of this is if a girl asks you a question about her outfit, her hair, if she looks fat, etc etc. Guys cannot stand these fucking questions... we know there is rarely a right answer and that anything dumb we blurt out fucks us for that night. Girls, here is a wake up call. Guys rarely notice the little intricacies you pick at yourself about. I mean, if you are wearing a hot black skirt then by all means, the guy should be forthcoming with compliments... but the little things, the shit you all notice that we could give a fuck about, we could give a fuck about so dont ask.

Guys hate capri pants. Stop wearing capri pants. They are only cute to you and your girlfriends. If your purpose is to impress a guy, do not wear capri pants.

(most) guys hate 80s music. for me, even the mention of going to an 80s night or an 80s party makes me cringe and throw up in my mouth a little bit. because for as many huey lewis and the news and warrant songs as they are going to play, there will be an exponentially larger amount of madonna/cindi lauper shit bubble gum shit music.

If you are a shitty driver, a slower than normal driver, an accident prone driver, or a frequent asker of driving questions while driving, guys are hesitant to step foot in your car. Please ask daddy how to drive a car the right way if you dont know. or just hire me, i will show you my boston-esque skills.

Guys hate Dirty Dancing/Pretty Woman/Princess Bride types of movies. Please dont make us watch those.

I guess the last thing i should say is, guys hate seeing the magazines in the grocery store aisle that say: "50 Things that are Guaranteed to Keep Your Man Happy" First, you know that the magazine is written by mostly women. the list was probably compiled by mostly women, and mostly women were asked their opinion. DOES THIS MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE? Maxim Magazine aka The Bible has the real articles about what real men really want. Dont consult a womens magazine about guy shit.


At 6/17/2004 3:10 PM, Blogger megan pistachio said...

HEY! The Princess Bride is a damn good movie! Everyone must enjoy it OR ELSE!

At 6/17/2004 8:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, Cosmo is the bible and guys do like capri pants.

At 6/23/2004 10:56 PM, Blogger shedidntflinchatmurder said...

wow you're funny.


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