Movie Reviews for 6/14/04

So I have seen a bunch of movies this past week... you can see why.
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The Day After Tomorrow-- The plot of this movie is that the world is on the brink of a major ice age and the only person who can save millions is Dennis Quaid. Now, I dont know how you all feel but I think Mr. Quaid should have halted all Hollywood appearances after his best movie to date. The movie has awesome special effects, dont get me wrong... it just seems like the director's previous movie independence day, except the aliens have been replaced by a worldwide snow storm. happy ending, son finds dad, son and dad find mom, everyone is happy. The world will go on. Bleh.

Harry Twatter and the Prisoner of Uzbekistan-- Call me a child, call me a loser, but i like this movie and the other two movies. Everyone is saying this one is darker... the only thing dark here is Hermayane's british unibrow. Damn, girl needs to get that shit tweezed. And could ronald grow some balls and try to stick that girl? I mean, when they are home in england from hogwarts and cant practice magic, thats cool... kick game with the mortal chicks. blame it on area codes. but dude, when you have a million spells and a chick that sweats your nuts pretty bad, youve got to give her the spitting dragon.

Raising Helen-- I actually havent seen this one, but I would just like to shout out to Kate Hudson. god damn, you are one of the hottest girls ever. please dump your loser husband so he can return to his failing music career and we can ride out your sugar momma status on our own private island.

Shrek 2-- tight movie, very funny. antonio banderas...if we could only keep you in cartoon form from here on out. but this guy stole the show. cameron diaz, why are you in cartoon form again?!? please begin to make real movies soon. fun fact: this is the second sequel movie Mike Meyers has created where in the first two weeks it outgrossed the entire gross of the previous movie. The first was Austin Powers. If you have not seen Shrek 1 or 2, go see them... just herb it up and youll enjoy.
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Sorry I couldn't be more creative, but I have a major case of the Mondays. Yaaaa

PS-- ronald reagan, thanks for dropping out this past week. my government-approved vacation day friday was most enjoyable. sorry to be so insensitive, but fuck it...surprise fridays off are a close 2nd to payday fridays.