So its been about one entire month of blogging. Somehow I have stuck to my guns and written every day but one. Now is where the shit gets thick....it is harder and harder to find things to dish on each day. But imma try. VH1 had a thing called hottest hotties and ya know, i figured i could be david spade-esque and comment on a few of them.
|100||Amy Smart||Are you kidding me? 100?! Why dont the VH1 producers re-watch Road Trip and tell me the scene where she initiates a naked porn interview with Breckin Meyer is not one of the best nude scenes of all times|
|99||Gavin Rossdale||Confession: when i was in 8th grade and this guy was cool, i wanted his hair style pretty badly. didnt really work out for me.|
|95||Heather Graham||Roller Girl? way hotter than this 95 shit|
|81||Charlize Theron||She gives Angelina Jolie a run for her money... DSL competition is a lock.|
|76||Orlando Bloom||From what the women in my office say, this guy is more swooned over right now than the likes of brad pitt.|
|69||Sarah Michelle Gellar||Fitting # spot, but Cruel Intentions was a hot hot flick... I WANNA FUCK! come on, you cant beat that.|
|51||Nick Lachey||Does anyone else in this world think this little couple should disappear away from MTV and the public eye in general.|
|48||Julia Roberts||Whether its the bubble bath scene from pretty woman or the descending the stair scene in oceans 11, julia roberts is hotter than a 48|
|43/41||Mandy Moore/Katie Holmes||Mmmmm.... this would be my threesome.|
|38||Kate Hudson||You all already know how I feel....this is blasphemy|
|33||Gwen Stefani||Had a crush on this one forever. So hot when she is dripping sweat and kicking ass on stage.... no one else does that for me.|
|30||Denise Richards||Pool scene with Neve Campbell can never be wiped from my memory.|
|26||Anna Kournikova||Does this girl even play tennis anymore? I just kinda know her as the hot girl from the Enrique Iglesias video or the nice one with the sweet ass who moans when she slams it up.|
|24||Eminem||This one is random... although I know a ton of white girls who want to fuck a guy named marshall mathers. i guess i shouldnt hate, but this guy would probably say some fucked up shit in your ear while he's having sex with you.|
|22||Demi Moore||one word: milf|
|19||Jennifer Aniston||I think Jennifer Aniston is my #1. She is so so pretty, so funny, seems so chill in real life. She tops all these fools below.|
|17||Cameron Diaz||Definitely my #2. Cameron Diaz is soooo good looking. So quirky-goofy, and of course she has been known to do some kink dances in her little boy underroos. hot.|
|14||Justin Timberlake||He gets around and ya every 14 year old girl is screaming his name. But this guy is younger than i am, so i can claim the following: he stole my name, he stole my haircut.|
|11||J. Lo's Ass||OVERRATED. How can J. Lo's ass rank above her physical being? Can we please stop talking about J Ho. she is not pretty.|
|06||Brad Pitt||I am taller than Brad Pitt!|
|04||Britney Spears||Britney Spears probably tastes like strawberry shortcake...she's just that hot.|
|03||Ashton Kutcher||I dont get it. He is funny, tall, handsome, whatever. But why is everyone so so so into Ashton. Please, any woman, explain!|
|02||Angelina Jolie||mmmmmm. ya as long as she didnt talk too much about weird shit like biting me, wanting to be intertwined in my soul and shit, i could deal with waking up next to angelina jolie :)|
|01||Beyonce||shazaaaam! hot hot hot this is the fucking hottest black chick on the planet right now.|
Hotties not making the list:
Jodie Foster ala Jackie Brown when she is the little surfer girl.
Christine Taylor, Ben Stillers wife, beautiful in so many ways.
Eliza Dushku/Shannon Elizabeth-- impossible to believe these girls were passed up
Tara Reid-- I'll suck your cock for $1000. and no list? bullshit
Natalie Portman-- Jewish girls should be on it too right :)
Avril Lavigne-- angry hot girls are definitely mentionable
Ryan Phillipe-- ya ya, hes a guy but he is a cool dude who should have made it
Jack Black-- what, fat guys cant get love too?
If you want more eye candy, go here.