Thursday, July 01, 2004

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Hottest Hotties

So its been about one entire month of blogging. Somehow I have stuck to my guns and written every day but one. Now is where the shit gets is harder and harder to find things to dish on each day. But imma try. VH1 had a thing called hottest hotties and ya know, i figured i could be david spade-esque and comment on a few of them.

100 Amy SmartAre you kidding me? 100?! Why dont the VH1 producers re-watch Road Trip and tell me the scene where she initiates a naked porn interview with Breckin Meyer is not one of the best nude scenes of all times
99 Gavin RossdaleConfession: when i was in 8th grade and this guy was cool, i wanted his hair style pretty badly. didnt really work out for me.
95  Heather GrahamRoller Girl? way hotter than this 95 shit
81 Charlize TheronShe gives Angelina Jolie a run for her money... DSL competition is a lock.
76 Orlando BloomFrom what the women in my office say, this guy is more swooned over right now than the likes of brad pitt.
69 Sarah Michelle GellarFitting # spot, but Cruel Intentions was a hot hot flick... I WANNA FUCK! come on, you cant beat that.
51 Nick LacheyDoes anyone else in this world think this little couple should disappear away from MTV and the public eye in general.
48 Julia RobertsWhether its the bubble bath scene from pretty woman or the descending the stair scene in oceans 11, julia roberts is hotter than a 48
43/41 Mandy Moore/Katie HolmesMmmmm.... this would be my threesome.
38 Kate Hudson You all already know how I feel....this is blasphemy
33 Gwen StefaniHad a crush on this one forever. So hot when she is dripping sweat and kicking ass on stage.... no one else does that for me.
30 Denise RichardsPool scene with Neve Campbell can never be wiped from my memory.
26 Anna KournikovaDoes this girl even play tennis anymore? I just kinda know her as the hot girl from the Enrique Iglesias video or the nice one with the sweet ass who moans when she slams it up.
24 EminemThis one is random... although I know a ton of white girls who want to fuck a guy named marshall mathers. i guess i shouldnt hate, but this guy would probably say some fucked up shit in your ear while he's having sex with you.
22 Demi Mooreone word: milf
19 Jennifer AnistonI think Jennifer Aniston is my #1. She is so so pretty, so funny, seems so chill in real life. She tops all these fools below.
17  Cameron DiazDefinitely my #2. Cameron Diaz is soooo good looking. So quirky-goofy, and of course she has been known to do some kink dances in her little boy underroos. hot.
14 Justin TimberlakeHe gets around and ya every 14 year old girl is screaming his name. But this guy is younger than i am, so i can claim the following: he stole my name, he stole my haircut.
11 J. Lo's AssOVERRATED. How can J. Lo's ass rank above her physical being? Can we please stop talking about J Ho. she is not pretty.
06 Brad PittI am taller than Brad Pitt!
04 Britney SpearsBritney Spears probably tastes like strawberry shortcake...she's just that hot.
03 Ashton KutcherI dont get it. He is funny, tall, handsome, whatever. But why is everyone so so so into Ashton. Please, any woman, explain!
02 Angelina Joliemmmmmm. ya as long as she didnt talk too much about weird shit like biting me, wanting to be intertwined in my soul and shit, i could deal with waking up next to angelina jolie :)
01 Beyonceshazaaaam! hot hot hot this is the fucking hottest black chick on the planet right now.

Hotties not making the list:
Jodie Foster ala Jackie Brown when she is the little surfer girl.
Christine Taylor, Ben Stillers wife, beautiful in so many ways.
Eliza Dushku/Shannon Elizabeth-- impossible to believe these girls were passed up
Tara Reid-- I'll suck your cock for $1000. and no list? bullshit
Natalie Portman-- Jewish girls should be on it too right :)
Avril Lavigne-- angry hot girls are definitely mentionable
Ryan Phillipe-- ya ya, hes a guy but he is a cool dude who should have made it
Jack Black-- what, fat guys cant get love too?
If you want more eye candy, go here.


At 7/01/2004 4:05 PM, Blogger jsk323 said...

Correction...Bridgette Fonda played the surfer girl in Jackie Brown. Agreed though, very hot..."wanna fuck?"

At 7/01/2004 4:10 PM, Blogger jsk323 said...

Oh sorry to blow up your spot one more time...but another correction. Brad Pitt is 5'11" according to, and by my estimation you're about 4 inches shy, unless you want to count your Kramer-esque mop in the Atlanta humidity on a windy day. Nice one Pubes...

At 7/01/2004 6:39 PM, Blogger shoobie said...

by brad pitt i meant tom cruise.
brad pitt we cool rasta mahn...besides, as katz pointed out my sheets are purwnkl bloo. (perrywinkle blue, snatch) its fer me ma.

and katz, its cool to blow up my spot every now and again. right now i am blowing up my spot all over your pillow while youre in NYC. maybe later ill have brian come by and take a little doggy doo doo on it.

peace gggggg unit


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