IM With Jim

Props to anyone who can possibly translate the following IM conversation into proper english. Your grades will be assessed if you comment and tell me what in the hell this means. jim is not a real jim, his name is jim in this case to protect the innocent jims out there. jim.

jim : serpie
shoobie : yo gurrl
jim : did u call
jim : girl
shoobie : mhm
jim : i didn't listen to your message
shoobie : guy
jim : what up
shoobie : lo
shoobie : no gret
jim : I can't girl
shoobie : guy
shoobie : girl
jim : a little drunk
shoobie : mm
shoobie : vino?
jim : yes sir
shoobie : nicee