MySpace is Like So Corporate Now...
(that was to be read in the inner voice of a barely 18 year old girl)
the first thing i thought about when the blog came back into existence was what has happened out in the world since my constant posting. i mean, a ton of shit has changed a ton, and some shit hasnt changed at all. the fact that i still pound nugey is undisputed, but the quality of the nuj has really improved in Atown. getting some urple cali haze in this joint. i still gamble on sports and my 4-0 cardinals and my soon to be 3-0 falcons, but never had i sat in the leather comfort of a sports book in las vegas on any day, let alone week 1 of college football kickoffs. on a side note-- i won in everything but poker. craps. roullette. sports. the dollar wheel. ha. just not poker. wtf is up with that. asian sluts at poker tables really hurt my game.
one of the top things i have noticed is how much Myspace has blown up in the past year. now before you go getting crazy on me for talking about something everyone knows, i want to say that i have been a member for three years. and when i joined it was because sarah r told me to join and she had been on there forever already. here is something maybe you unintuitive bastards dont know. if you go to view all your friends, not the top 8-64 part, but view all... your friends are listed in order of how long theyve been a member. thats why tom is always #1 unless youre a coldhearted prick like i am and delete tom first thing. you arent my friend tom. youre just a means to an end. for him, myspace was a means to an end of ever having to work again. for me, myspace is and ends to doing the most mind numbing thing i can think of (browsing for hot snootch) while avoiding the most mind numbing thing i can think of (doing actual work).
now dont get me wrong, a lot of people use myspace for good. dragging a 14 year old boy to bed. meeting up for a big pornstar gangbang in the 'KY Jelly Fanclub Group'. making a funny fake profile that imitates your friend. adding everyone as your friend so you now have 672 friends with fake tans and 8packs. putting in the cheesiest 'Spirit Fingers' glittery flashy gif files 820x760 because it looks liiike sooo cooool but totally fucks up the entire page. connecting with old high school buddies who try to add you as a friend when you could give a fuck about them. declaring that you are in the Generation X cusp because youre young enough to have myspace but old enough to NOT have Facebook. in old-timer denial. announcing some self-promoting thing to all your friends in the desperate hope that they read their message board. sending out a retarted survey to other people more bored at work than you. (any others? add them to comments)
another thing that happened was definitely a first in the reality show tv span of history. now you may be able to prove me wrong here, but i think the first full fledged retard finally won a reality series. if any of you funny bastards watched last comic standing, you know the early money was definitely Chris with the fro. i mean come on, my karma was all over that dudes face. but in the end, when the girls cat-scratched each other off early, and the unfunniest dudes were eliminated, Josh Blue the retarted guy won out with a bang. i mean he is fucking funny as hell... if you are ok with laughing at a retard. the best thing is he's cool with it, he loves to crack on himself... a critique i have is thats all he does, no other routine. but he is fucking funny. still- the funniest comedian to ever come off that show was Ralphie May. homie is hilarious. best dvd stand up by a 'newcomer' by far.
sackhil apparently still surfs the net at 2:40 am. nice to hear limewire is getting their fair share of porn traffic. youre the kinda porn downloader who allows your computer to download a max of 20 files but youll only share a folder with the 'matrix 3 reloaded', 'adventures in babysitting', and 'star wars uncut edition' in it and allow one person to upload. desi bastards.
i just went to my first nerd convention. no, not talking about dragoncon. not talking about the blockbuster party for the star wars release party of the original unedited restored to 1980s formatting vhs release. i went to a free microsoft event for .net developers that they hold every month. it was in phipps plaza, so you could potentially catch a free flick. they gave popcorn, drinks, cd-roms, a 4-hour training, and all the fucking dorks you could cram into one space. i mean it, chock full of huge tools. i saw maybe 2 girls, and i have to say i saw through 2 girls, maybe 60% indian, 15% asian, still repping that 25% white boys. dorky white boys. the tools like tom ryan and adam ullrich man. bigguns. swear to god saw a wookie shirt in real life.
shout outs. to jj, the furthest away reader who bitched when the tragic events of vicklanta going bust was announced-- convince sensei to get the next trip in korea and i guarantee you 20 ballers will go. to amber, whom i never thanked for the css reply. stickyaltfoot still doesnt work for me, but thanks for the link. to yayan, who has been like a ghost these past 2 weeks... killing kitties has been a whole new level of pleasure, and pain. to naoum who is by far my most enthusiastic reader. to dwellis, my fantasy nightmare and herbal enhancer all at the same time. to mike vick, for being so good at winning games. rock that dome brother. to thongs, for sticking out for a little peek at the world and enticing so many men into staring at you. to the rebbe, who should organize a trip to brasil. to reba, who alleges that she will be attending a beer festival in Atown down. to cops3y, what up nigga whatchu been doin. to the tampa bay bucs, thanks for going 0-3 and losing a spleen. to MNF, see ya soon lil guy.