Tuesday, June 07, 2005

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I Guess I'll Be Taking the Crazy Pill

For a few months now, i have had a little thing on the sidebar ---> regarding music midtown being $75. of course they have to go and announce four days before the event that my favorite band will be closing out friday night. so i guess i'll be taking the crazy pill and attending my 4th music midtown. is anyone else going? holler at me if i know you.

Typically if you dont see a blog on here it means that i am completely lost for any creative and innovative thought that morning. I basically refuse to blog from home since the whole point of this thing is to do it when i have nothing better to do. yesterday i had one all set in my mind to go... and then brazilian she-man nixed that by forcing me to do almost 6 hours of work in the 8 hour day. fucking cunt!
when i was a senior in high school, i had a buddy named philly who was a raging boozer and a misunderstod misogynist. his momma raised him right and he was a big virgin. i say this as if i ever got laid in high school... i guess the difference is i would have had sex with whoeva and he was actually trying to save the v card. one night at a party, philly went off with this whore of a girl (**100% of high school cheerleaders are whores in ky-- hi caryn!) and started getting butt ass naked in his car. sure he'd take a blowjob but thats about as far as it went.... but this time philly was fucking hammered yall. this girl wanted his inches pretty bad so she basically climbed on top of him and pinned his legs down, hovered her vaj over him and laid the pipe right in there. when it first went deep philly finally figured out that he was officially fucking this girl and he was actually saying 'no, no, stop.' did the girl stop? shit no, you know how these women are when they want something and they dont give a fuck how they get it. she continued to fuck him and technically, my boy philly was raped.

now this would have been pretty serious except for a) philly lied about girls a lot, and b) its pretty funny to think of a girl raping a guy. not funny in that haha way, just the fact that society paints men as agressive sex hungry felons and women as the innocent sweethearts sitting on their tuffets.

i of course have another story. one of my buddies from beantown (lets call him keef) was a fucking crazy little freshman in college. i had to sneak him into the frat because his gpa wouldnt even cut it. apparently (2nd hand source here) keef was at a little date party one night and there was a girl on the bus who was hungry for some dick again. she asked my buddy swilly if there was a little hot freshman around. now if you meet this girl for 2 seconds you know she was insinuating making him into her little vibrating sex toy that night, ala jabba the hut. she is just straight naughty. so when swilly volunteered keef's dick, keef was so hammered he didnt even know what kind of transaction had just taken place. all he knew was a semi attractive long islander was dragging him back to his room, ripping off all his clothes when she arrived on futon, and literally forcing her puss onto his dick. the kid didnt even know who she was, and she didnt give a fuck who he was. all she knew was that she wanted to basically rape a young, unaware, unable to make responsible decisions, hammered little catholic kid because she could.

the other night i was at neighbors with keef and co. then another crew that i have been chillin with arrived with this girl in tow. i have been friends with both parties for awhile and had never heard this story until i hugged the girl when she got there and my boy keef booked to the bathroom to avoid awk.

i guess i have to be honest here. before this weekend i figured the concept of a girl raping a guy was total bullshit. but thats because from my perspective, if a girl dragged me home wasted and fucked me silly i dont think i would mind. it helps that the 2 girls in the stories are cute. but i mean come on bra, you have to be basically blacked out to not realize your dick is getting hard and now it is in a moist yummy serving of strawberry shortcake. still both stories are similar and validated by the fact that neither guy would have had sex with their respective girls had they been sober. so bloggy readers: can a girl rape a guy or not?


At 6/07/2005 2:01 PM, Blogger Audacity said...

"can a girl rape a guy or not?"

Yes, but it's a rare occurrence.

At 6/07/2005 6:53 PM, Anonymous can you guess who? said...

what if the girl's retarded?

At 6/09/2005 9:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

if i girl can rape a guy than she can hate fuck one too. check that.

At 6/10/2005 9:00 AM, Blogger cmdrslappy said...

ha! philly would kill you for telling that story.

yeah, i guess a girl can rape a guy. but only if he's drunk. right?

At 6/11/2005 3:55 PM, Anonymous SWILLY said...

Just for the record, I am Keef's Pimp. I sold his little catholic boston ass for a bottle of jager and the satisfaction of knowing that I had a hand in a very rare occurrence, a he rape. Keef's your my bitch


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